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Nate's Halloween History 1979 I dressed as a woman. A large woman. 1980 I cut three holes in a sheet, poured some blood on the ghosty crotch region and went as a menstrually challenged ghost. Obviously, a version of a woman. 1981 Running in a new direction, I dressed as a man with dred locks smoking a joint as big as my wrist. 1982 Let's just call this year's outfit "Gorilla Mask with Izod Shirt" and leave it at that. 1983 I woke up in my dorm room the morning after Halloween with a copy of The Daily Tarheel slid under my door. On the front page was a picture of me standing on Franklin Street in front of the Nation's Bank building wearing a diaper with a huge bonnet on my head clutching a stuffed teddy bear and a lollipop. 1984 My decision to bring a chainsaw with a 22" bar on it pays off! I removed the chain and stashed a can of mixed fuel on Rosemary Street. I wore a trench coat to hide the saw when I was walking. Just when I thought I was surrounded by the most Halloweeners, I cranked up the saw and suddenly found myself standing all alone in the middle of the street. Alone, except for the two really authentically dressed policemen headed my way. 1985 Combining the previous two years' costumes I was Baby with Chainsaw. 1986 I was Bruce Willis. Hard to imagine? Yes. 1987 Take one 8 ½" x 11" piece of brightly colored paper, roll it carefully into a cone and secure the cone with tape so it will not unravel. Tie the cone to your head with elastic banding. Voila! Cone Nose. 1988 I dressed as a Cro-Magnon Man carrying a large club and went as "Rogaine, first male pattern baldness sufferer." Skip a few years... 2002 Trench coat, white underwear around my ankles, orthopaedic shoes, vacant stare. 2003 Billy Bob Teeth, striped bib overalls, bad breath, repeat the vacant stare. 2004 My costume cost $5 plus batteries. I'll send pictures on Monday. |