I'm far too terrified to Google this or investigate it with any rigor whatsoever, but I realized earlier today that, according to Rule 34 of the Internet*, somewhere out there, there is Lupus Porn.

*  If you can conceive of it, there is porn of it somewhere on the internet

Somewhere, in the dark recesses of the Internet, pale Adonises, their perfect pallid skin unblemished by too much exposure to the sun and their complexion unhindered by any exposure to alfalfa sprouts, are being filmed engaging in unspeakable acts for Lupus fetish sites around the globe. This is happening right now in dark studios in the San Fernando Valley--studios that dispense prednisone and Plaquenil to their models and performers as if it were Valtrex. They use protection always, to protect their overly compromised immune systems, and engage in forbidden lusts, living out their shortened lives like the "Masque of the Red Death" were the only life they know.

Lupus-ridden actors and actresses, most of them Latinas and other minorities, are engaging in wish-fulfillment videos of the like you've never even dreamed. They lie as flat and still as possible--just lying on their back and trying not too move their flaming joints too much is a contortion straight out of the Lupus Kama Sutra for them. They beg their partners to bring them to a screaming climax, mingling the sounds of their pleasure with the pain of having moved an ankle or knee too quickly or put too much weight on an injured and swollen wrist that can no longer bear their own weight, much less the weight of a sweaty and naked screaming partner.

"Please don't stress me out, lover" they cry, "You shall only spark another flare!" as they beg for more, hoping against hope that the short term disability will kick in soon, as there is no way they will be able to walk, much less work, for another couple days after that session.

It's a wild and crazy internet out there. There is so much that is just waiting for you to discover it.