Post-Modern Drunk: Tattoos I Would Have Gotten At Various Ages
In honor of my 33rd birthday this Sunday:

Tattoos I Would Have Gotten At Various Ages and Immediately Regretted

• Age 8: A Superman S on my chest with a cape on my back.
• Age 10: A Batman Bat
• Age 13: A T-800 exoskelton hand and forearm.
• Age 16: John McClane's Beretta, taped to my back with Christmas tape.
• Age 18: An otherwise blank Post-It Note marked "To Do" on my palm.
• Age 19: Faded numbers, on my wrist, probably "24601," during my "Let's think of the absolute most offensive thing and instantly do that" phase.
• Age 21: A Trystero horn
• Age 22: A kilt
• Age 25: A mustache on my index finger
• Age 29: A zipper on my chest scar.
• Age 30: A wallet chain going to my ass scar.
• Age 32: A ruler, on my index finger (I always have trouble with measurements for cutting and cooking).

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