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Post-Modern Drunk: God and Your Sports Team
God if he exists may love you, but He does not love your team. Your team is not His favorite team in the tournament, or in the sport, or on the planet, and definitely not His favorite team in the universe. You probably already harbored a suspicion this is true. Well, suspect no longer. In honor of March Madness, I did the math.
Using an adaptation of the Drake Equation--an equation used to quantify the likelihood of discovering an extraterrestrial civilization in the Milky Way--I did the math on what the likelihood that out of all those stars with all those worlds with all those civilizations with all those sports teams, that your chosen team is the real Chosen Team.
In lieu of any other name, I've been calling this the Drake-Nike Equation. Alternate titles would be most welcome.
If you want a Too Long; Didn't Read, here's the nut graph. Depending on the variables you use, there is a 1 in
17,472,000 to a 1 in 17,472,000,000,000 chance that your team is God's favored team in the Milky Way.
Which makes that a 0.000000000572344 to a 0.0000000000000572344 percent chance that your team is God's Chosen team in this galaxy. Keep in mind that there are an estimated 100,000 other galaxies in our Local Supercluster, and an estimated 170 billion other galaxies in the observable universe.
God will not save your bracket. And here's the proof.
