|
Post-Modern Drunk: Laying Pipe and Hanging Lanterns
Jargon is funny. Sometimes it's funny in the "huh, that's weird" sense, but at some point, it just becomes funny ha ha. My favorite recent example of this comes from the jargon of TV writing. Don't ask why I know TV writing jargon--it's a long story. Suffice it to say, I am not scripting an episode of Friday Night Lights or anything like that. No need to worry.
There is some fun stuff, like "hanging a lantern on it." Got a problem in your script? Something doesn't make sense, or seems awkward? You can let it go, you could fix it, or you could "hang a lantern" on it, which means, generally, have one of your characters comment on how that doesn't make sense, or that's awkward, or stupid. Call attention to it, and you can sometimes get away with it (Xander, from Buffy... was seemingly created to do this).
But the he term I really love is "laying pipe." In the world of TV writing, "laying pipe" refers to that slightly awkward dialogue that no one actually says naturally, used to convey backstory information to the audience. Like, "Jenny, you're my sister and you've been taking care of your husband for 13 years now. Why didn't you divorce his ass after he cheated on you with your best friend?" The idea is that you've just laid the "pipe" that the actual information of the plot is going to flow through, at some future point.
There you go. Pipe has been laid. But of course, in real life, most people who say "laying pipe" are either talking about a job in public works, or frat boys bragging about how they were fucking the shit out of some co-ed the night before*. Or they're Republicans talking about getting oil from Alaska, which is the political equivalent of frat boys fucking the shit out America.
*Well, there is one slightly confused soul on the Urban Dictionary who defines "laying pipe" as "having a really good shit," but I think he's confusing it with "dropping the twins off at the pool." Which is one of the main problems with the Urban Dictionary. Submitters are usually drunk, idiots, and takin a break from posting: "UR A FAGOOT U QUER" on youtube videos. Their major expense is the subscription to the Rohypnol of the Month Club, so at least it keeps them busy and invested in Web 2.0.