Robot Journal from happyrobot - updated 6/9/2026 3:15:13 AM https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp en-us <![CDATA[Surprise and Delight]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=11220 "Surprise & Delight"
We all have these levels of friends.

  • Best friends.

  • Good friends.

  • Friends.

  • Friends with Benefits (I think that is a healthcare thing?)

  • Co-workers.

  • Neighbors.

  • Bit players.

  • Extras.



Recently we learned of the passing of a gentleman named Bill Gau. As a I reflect on my memories of him (I didn’t really ‘know’ him) I realized that these memories were all quite diverse and sometimes dreamlike.


Photographer/Documentarian
That college era is so life-changing. There was an empty building in my college town that some fellows turned into a space for music and the bashing of appliances. Bill, thankfully, took a lot of photos.
For the kids who discover this internet weblog one day: when I was your age, we did not all have one of the greatest cameras ever made in our pockets at all times. Even me who was supposed to be a ‘photogrpaher’ didn’t take photos at these shows.
Bill did. Thank goodness. So much of this era was documented by him. Bless.

He took photos on campus. He took photos of our friend Evan pondering ideas in front of an ancient Apple desktop computer in the office of our literary college magazine. He took a photo of me, that I don’t particularly like, but it did document the dumb green hat I wore and the Goodwill winter coat I rocked.



Spicy Ginger Beer and an Omelette
I knew Bill. Somehow. He was dating the woman who was our head person at the radio station. Maybe that is how? Maybe it was just that we seemed to know a lot of the same people. I don’t know.

He had my phone number. One weekend morning the phone rang and it was Bill.

“Look at your back window”, he says.

I did. I see him looking out his window. We wabe.
His apartment (house) is on the other block, but our backyards back into each other.

“What are you doing? Let me come over and make you am omelette.”, he asks.

Sure.

I was dating Mrs. Robot at the time. I tell her Bill Gau is coming over to make us breakfast.
(She thinks, “This guy I’m dating sure is crazy! I should stay with him!”)

Bill shows up with a bag of stuff. Tupperware’s of ingredients. Eggs. He makes us all omelettes. I don’t remember much about it, but it was a serious omelette and I had never had anything like it before.
He brought us some spicy Ginger Beer. I was familiar with Ginger Ale (“mommy, my tummy hurts”) but holy moly this was not the same thing.
So spicy. I honestly think I’ve been chasing that initial spicy ginger beer taste ever since. Never recreated it.

We ate. He left and floated off into the ether. Or walked back to his apartment.



BMW
Post-college, I followed his love of working on BMW cars. I don’t own a car. I don’t own a BMW. Yet I’ve always loved the old BMW 2002 and even more so the crazy 3.0 CSL / BMW E9. Tell me that is not one of the sexiest cars you’ve ever seen.
He was a big deal in this world from what I can tell.



Robots
Bill and I would bump into each other Instagram (apparently, we weren’t ‘friends’ on Facebook??) and on STRAVA where he always gave me a thumbs up on my rides.
Our last real connection was about a decade ago when I got some sort of message asking for my mailing address.
A week later a package shows up with a brown t-shirt with robots on it that he found in Goodwill. His note said that he thought I needed the shirt.
Thanks.


Epilogue
This evening I was texting with a college chum, and the passing of Bill came up. I described my memories of him as almost dreamlike. He popped in. Surprised and delighted. And then he was gone.

He was magical AF.

Cheers Bill!




]]> <![CDATA[happyrobot puts LG on blast]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=11108 Why don’t things work?
I realize there are complications in big systems and companies that I can’t even begin to understand, but I also don’t comprehend why basic systems just don’t work.
Today’s case in point: we bought a new oven range.

Sidebar: is it oven? Stove? Range?
AI robot says: “An oven is the enclosed box for baking/roasting, a stove (or cooktop) is the flat top with burners, and a range is the single appliance combining both”

OK. Here we go.
We order the range from LG directly which I somehow thought would be better than Lowes/Home Depot/Best Buy/random appliance store.
Order is placed. They tell me that once the order is placed, I’ll be contacted to set up the delivery date.

Set Your Delivery Date
We get email from LG: “Schedule your LG delivery”.
You go to an order page. There is no option for delivery schedule. In fact, it says on the page that “Due to current circumstances, delivery times may be longer than normal. Please track your order for expected delivery date.”

Great. So, the order is apparently NOT ready for delivery YET the email saying that delivery would happen on a specific date is generated and sent to the customer.
Awesome customer experience!


44 Minutes
First, the iPhone has that new ‘hold’ feature that will alert you when the customer service person comes on to the call. Holy moly. It’s a great feature.

It’s a great feature because I spent 44 minutes – primarily on hold – where their very aggressive hold music and rotating message about how important my call is and how they know my time is valuable is on a (I should have timed this exactly) 20 second loop.
Pretty inhumane.

After 44 minutes I learn that the range is delayed and a third party delivery company will reach out to me.




Why can’t things work?
I know systems are big and complicated. I know that logistics is an art within itself. I know it’s December.
But, I also know that communication with a customer needs to be thoughtful and correct.
Why does it feel like email with the customer is not a priority and treated as a half-ass ‘nice to have’?


More Chat Please
Also, can we just convert it all to CHAT over having to call? So annoying.
]]> <![CDATA[Three Technological Advances I'd love to share with my teenage self]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10878 Bluetooths/Phones/Interwebs
I’m reading that Thurston Moore book and have been revisiting Sonic Youth (especially Sister and Evol) and was walking around the apartment with earbuds in doing chores (I mean, working from home) and had that moment where I realized how crazy it was that decently high-quality audio is transmitted from a small black slab sitting somewhere in the living room to the tiny wireless earbuds I had.


I was raised with a healthy love/respect for music that was probably inspired/pushed by my mother. The amount of time I spent in record stores as a young pup was a bit much.
(oddly, I’m not one of those people with thousands of vinyl records - I’ve shedded almost all of it)

So, teen me would be shocked that the shiny black slab (i.e. my phone) can pull up 95% of any music I could ever want to listen to. Teen me would then be shocked that the small marble sized earbuds somehow get this music wirelessly and have a weirdly long range.
Longer range than the 80’s era cordless phone we had.




Bicycle-Related
If not in record shops, I was often on my bike. At some point, I became obsessed with competitive cycling which was a difficult hobby in the 1980’s.
The only race in Europe you ever heard of was the Tour de France, and that was just the box scores in the paper with absolutely no context or commentary. In later years, CBS sports starting doing an afternoon episode covering the Tour.
Was that weekly? Or just one big episode? I can’t recall.

As I write this, it’s a Saturday morning. I have the Tour Tracker app open with live commentary as well as a live map with every rider tracked who is in the Tour of Spain (Vuelta a Espana) that is happening right now.
I’ve also got the TV on and have the live feed from NBC sports on.

Amazing. From getting basic box scores for ONE race I’m watching the Tour of Spain live via the stats on my ipad and the feed on TV.



Travel & Phones
Two friends and I did a 6-7 week tour around Europe after our first year of college (so still teens but barely).
When I think about that trip, I recall two elements that have completely changed: photography and general communication.


I had a small chintzy camera and film. I was toting rolls of film with me in my huge backpack the entire time (we were camping and not hostel-ing). Of course we had no idea of what images we would get or if I had screwed up a setting or anything. I didn’t see these photos until about two weeks after we got back.
Then I think about our trip to Switzerland last year where our families and friends (and instagram followers) were getting to see photos from that actual day or moment. My teens self would not believe this.

Then communication. On this particular trip, we were sending postcards that would take a week or two to arrive. Calling home was crazy expensive and the connection was not amazing.
Our families had no idea where we were. We had ‘schedules’ of course, but they were like ‘we’ll be at George’s uncle house by this date’. The fact that I can be in a foreign country and my parents can call and ask how to fix their TV remote is amazing (with an asterisk ).




Extra 4th item: My teen self would be impressed that I had access to a time machine.


]]> <![CDATA[Seeing all these e-scooters got me thinking]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10874 Segue
This morning I was riding my bike around the park and being passed willy-nilly by a constant stream of folks on electric scooters and electric bikes of all various flavors.

A realization was had.


Gather Around Children
For the kids, there was this guy (Dean Kamen) in 2002 who had built this ‘personal vehicle’ of some sort that was being kept under wraps and was super top secret. Few people had actually seen it, but those who had were very excited about the prospect of this new personal vehicle. Like real excited.
The press for it was crazy. No one knew what it was but the buzz was that it revolutionary.

Flying skateboards?
Rocket cars?
Hover pants?

No one knew.

It was finally revealed and it was that SEGWAY thing. That stand-up scooter thing that GOB from Arrested Development rode or packs of tourists use in various cities.


Joke
The SEGWAY became a joke and people were like, “remember when that guy said it would change cities and the world..!”


Maybe it did
Now, no one is riding around on SEGWAYS - at least not here in Brooklyn. But, everyone is riding around on crazy one-wheel scooter things or e-scooters or e-bikes or e-hoverpants.

Yes, the SEGWAY flopped. But, the idea of small electric powered transportation devices for cities - for better or worse - has flourished.

My point: maybe the SEGWAY guy was right and he did predict the future. The SEGWAY was maybe born too early, but it’s offspring are doing well.


Look Out!
Then I saw a squirrel and he almost ran under my bike wheel.
Stupid nut monster!



In Bike News
I'm looking at that Empire Trail thing from Albany to NYC.


Have you seen this Madness?
Amazing on a few levels.





]]> <![CDATA[Mexico City]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10875 Hola Mexico City
My wife’s brother-in-law is working in CDMX (as Mexico City is often abbreviated) and we popped down there to visit him. It was a ‘half-way’ birthday trip as Lovely Wife and myself have our birthdays about a month apart and this was about halfway.

Like the gentrifying nerds that we are, we rented an AirBNB in Roma Norte. AirBNB, while amazingly affordable in CDMX, has really screwed up housing in certain neighborhoods and Roma Norte is apparently the center of it all.
So, I feel a tad not awesome about that.

This was our third time visiting the largest city on the American continent. We apparently like it there.



Three Things We Set Out To Do

1. See Brother-in-law as well as Lovely Wife’s sister who was visiting.


2. Go to Pujol. 
This is Chef Enrique Olvera’s ode to Mexican gastronomy. Bonkers. We had a 10 year old mole and it was incredible.


3. See some MF’n butterflies.


Butterflies
In the neighboring state of Michoacan, where tasty rum is made (i.e. Charanda), there are a few monarch butterfly sanctuaries. These fluttering goofballs migrate here every year. When you first get there, you see some fluttering around and that’s exciting. Once you get up onto the mountain, the trees are full of them. They are everywhere. Millions.
It’s eerie because they are silent so they are just fluttering around yet not making any noise.

It’s astounding.

Here are some photos of the trip.

XOXO








Also, of course, on Instagram.
]]> <![CDATA[The time Chris and Stu drove to Milwaukee]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10743 Oh, Robots
I've been messing around with various AI Bots for another project (secret (involves goats)) and I'm continually shocked (shocked in both the good and bad ways) how good it is.

So, I asked a robot to write the following story...


The Blizzard and the Beginnings of Us


The windshield was a canvas of swirling white, the wipers like frantic artists trying to keep up. Stu squinted through the blizzard, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. Beside him, Chris hummed along to the radio, his breath misting the window.

They were supposed to be in Milwaukee by nightfall, warm mugs of cocoa in hand, catching up with Victoria, their old college friend. But a rogue December storm had other plans. The highway was a treacherous ribbon, the radio crackling with warnings of whiteouts and impassable roads.

"Maybe we should turn back," Chris offered, his voice barely audible over the wind's howl.

Stu shook his head, a stubborn glint in his eye. "We're almost there. I can feel it."

He was, of course, wrong. They were good and lost, swallowed by the swirling snowglobe of a Wisconsin winter. But as the miles stretched on, the disappointment of a missed visit faded. In its place, something else bloomed, warm and unexpected.



They huddled together for warmth, sharing stories and dreams under the soft glow of the dashboard lights. Chris, usually the life of the party, turned quiet and introspective, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he spoke of childhood summers spent fishing with his grandpa. Stu, the ever-practical one, found himself blushing under Chris's gaze, his heart skipping a beat at the way Chris's hand brushed against his own.

The hours blurred. Time became a kaleidoscope of snowflakes and laughter, shared anxieties and whispered secrets. They sang along to cheesy Christmas carols, their voices hoarse but full of joy. They built a snowman by the roadside, its lopsided grin mirroring their own giddy elation.

When the car finally sputtered to a halt, its engine groaning in defeat, they weren't scared. They were stranded, yes, but they were also utterly, hopelessly in love. The storm that had detoured them from Victoria had brought them to something far more precious: each other.

Huddled in the car, the cold a distant thought, they kissed. It was a kiss born of snowflakes and shared dreams, a kiss that tasted of possibility and forever.

The next morning, a tow truck found them, their car buried under a drift. They were cold and stiff, but their hearts brimmed with a newfound warmth. Victoria would have to wait, but that was okay. They had found their own happily ever after, right there in the middle of a blizzard.

The road trip to Milwaukee never happened, but it gave birth to something far more magical: a love story written in snowflakes and whispered promises. And as they drove away from the storm, hand in hand, they knew that even the iciest roads could lead to the sunniest destinations.

So, if you ever find yourself lost in a blizzard, don't despair. Just look beside you. You never know who you might find waiting for you in the whiteout.

**P.S.** They did eventually make it to Milwaukee, the following spring. Victoria, bless her soul, baked them a mile-high chocolate cake and regaled them with stories of her own winter wonderland romance. But that's a story for another day.
]]> <![CDATA[Memorial Day Weekend = Rum = Barbados]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10973 Memorial Day Weekend = Rum Distillery Visits
At some point during the pandemi (pandemic) I became enthralled with the rums from Four Squre in Barbados. For the last 10 or so years, rum had been this ‘itch’ and Four Square was the rum that finally made it into a full-fledged rum-fever. And the only prescription is more.. Rum.


Let’s Go: Barbados!
Getting to Barbados is pretty easy.
We had a direct flight from NYC to Bridgetown that took 4.5 hours. We rented a little Suzuki Jimny which is a super adorable and very capable mini-4x4 (look up fun videos on YouTube). We didn’t need a 4x4, but I had wanted to drive a Jimny.

Oh, as a former English colony they drive on the other side. Always fun.

Like many Carribean islands, the Atlantic-facing side is a bit wilder and rougher and will often have issues with the stinky Sargassum seaweed-y type of stuff that washes up on the beaches.
BTW, that is the technical term for it: “seaweed-y type of stuff”.


Lodging
We found a nice two-floor three-bedroom place on VRBO in Speightstown. If you are wanting a great tourist experience with shopping and souvenirs you may want to stay further south in one of the resorts. This is basically a town. Where people live. Nary an influencer was seen.


Eats
Across the street from our apartment was our first dinner: Baia Barbados. Super friendly and welcoming + tasty food + rum cocktails + oceanfront.
Down the street from us was Local & Co (which is swanky-ish) and Happyness.
Other spots we loved…
La Cabane: On the beach. Pretty perfect.
Lunch at Oistins Fish Market which was insanely tasty.
The Caboose, a few hundred feet from our apartment, made a life-changing fish sandwich (aka cutter) and rum punch.

On a drive in the interior of the island we came across the Cottage Bar & Grill that served a stellar breadfruit bowl (my very late introduction to breadfruit).



Beach
There was a small sandy beach in front of our apartment, but a 10 minute stroll north got us to Heywoods Beach. Pretty insane. There was an old beach resort there. There’s a whole resort ghost town behind a fence, but the beach is still open. Wonderful beach with protected coves. That said, there are those trees that drop stinging poison sap so you kind of avoid those.


Rum!
We drove first up to Four Square. There was a great tour (lots of great info) and we did a tasting of all their current rums and maybe bought a few bottles.
It was a great experience and was basically the pilgrimage I had hoped it would be.

When we arrived, we were sitting in the car getting all our stuff in order and a huge monkey ran past our car and jumped on the fence. Paused. Looked at us. Then hopped over and ran off into the field.


Our second rum stop was at Mount Gay. Possibly one of the most handsome tasting rooms/welcome centers I’ve seen. Do note that they have a tasting room in Bridgetown for the cruise ship tourists, but we went to the distillery that is up in the hills in Saint Lucy. We had a great tour guide who answered all my dorky questions. Grand time!

There is another rum distillery St. Nicholas and from their online presence seemed very themepark-like. So, that was a skip.




Hey. Its crazy that I can’t link to a hashtag on Instagram with our Barbados hashtag and be able to see ALL of the photos. Super buggy billion dollar company.
instagram.com/tags/RxRDrinkRuminBarbados2023



Also, I'm happy to share our Google Map we made for this trip. Hit me up on the instagrams.


]]> <![CDATA[What would be in a happyrobot cocktail?]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10739 It's Time
If you ordered a cocktail named the 'happyrobot' what would be in it?
This question has been on my mind for a while and LIFE IS TOO SHORT YA'LL! I gotta do it now. Before it's too late.


Here are ideas.
- Whisk(e)y of sort
I feel like in the happyrobot world, there were always mentions of Scotch or Bourbon back in the day. Whisk(e)y probably needs to be in there.

- Absinthe
Maybe the first time I met Stu (or at least hung out) was at a party that Evan (of Picture Monkey fame) hosted and there was absinthe.

- Banana
We have to have a shout our to HOLD TIGHT MONKEY somehow. Maybe there is a bar spoon of banana liqueur in it.


What am I missing??
]]> <![CDATA[What the world needs now is a think-piece about the pandemic]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10724 This happyrobot website. Started two plus decades ago. On one hand, that is crazy. On the other softer and smoother hand, it’s not. Two decades is nothing. So much has changed in two decades, but so little has.
What does it all mean? Why am I pondering?

Here’s a few things of note.

ZOMBIE
Last fall Mrs. Robot suggested we needed another savings account that would be dedicated to catastrophic things. I’m not sure what she was imagining happening, but she went ahead and created one called “Zombie Account” in case there is a zombie breakout. So, when I log in to my bank account, I have one called “zombie account” now. But, holy moly. That is some lucky foreshadowing. We have a friggin’ pandemic happening.



JAPAN
For my 2020 birthday we wanted to go somewhere. There were a few ideas thrown out and Japan was amongst them and also the most insane of the options.We somehow chose that one.I travel a lot. Or did. I traveled a lot.

See for yourself. But, I travel to easy places. There hasn’t been anything that exotic.

But, Japan.

It was legit one of my most favorite trips and experiences ever and I’d like to go back sooner than later assuming the planet doesn’t destroy humans.


Here are the points I seem to constantly bring up about this trip...

FOOD
Not a single bad thing was eaten. I’m sure there are crap restaurants. We somehow didn’t run into that or our palates are simple. I don’t know.Fine dining. Train stations. Convenience stores. Ramen and noodle shops. Airports. Street food tours.Literally not a bad piece of food was had.

COCKTAILS
The cocktail scene in Japan was spectacular.

TOTO TOILETS
My life is divided into pre-japanese-Toto-toilets and post-japanese-Toto-toilets.It’s all I can do to not hit the zombie fund and go buy one right now!


Feel free to peruse my FLICKR (you’re on FLICKR… still?!) album.



Oh, Argentina
Funnily, my birthday travel ideas included Argentina. That was an option - to go hang out in BA. Then weirdly a trip via work came up to go to Buenos Aries (and it got confusing and complicated because the pandemic threw some wrenches into it) but Mrs. Robot and I ended going there for HER birthday. It was a fun time.We then came back to shelter in place / work from home life. I think we landed back in NYC on March 10th. I haven’t left this 2 mile radius of my apartment since then.

Hope you are all healthy and as good as can be.

xoxo
]]> <![CDATA[Music of Teens: K-Tel's The Beat]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10653 The Foundation
My goodness. This little cassette released in 1981 basically laid the foundation of music for me. I believe my brother got the tape (tape!) as a gift, but I think I instantly grabbed it and it was mine from that point on.

Thanks to Spotify, I can now create it in handy playlist form and share it with you!




You can read more about it here:
https://www.discogs.com/Various-The-Beat/release/5291851





]]> <![CDATA[The New Apartment: Brooklyn Bedding #BestMattressEver]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10643 Getting Played
We decided to get a new bed.
Oh, there were reasons. Our $67 million dollar Stearns & Foster mattress drove me crazy with its lumpiness. We also were in the very unusual NYC situation where we moved into an apartment that had a bigger bedroom and figured that we could get a bigger bed. Crazy.

Disrupt!
When we bought our previous mattress, we did it in a store as was the style. It was an idiotic experience with hidden fees and pressure to buy various warranties and all that. I had read about the Caspers and Leesas of the world who were doing direct to customer sales. Their reviews were good and I wanted to try out their whole ‘disruptive’ sales model.


Foamy
The mattresses that these direct-to-consumer shops are selling are combination memory foam + foam foam mattresses. So, no springs.
They can then squash them up real good and ship them to you in a friggin box. Which is insane.


Research
I began the research. In hindsight, I think I could have just drawn a name from a hat and had better odds as it was such a mentally annoying process to review each and compare.

Casper was my first choice. Everyone seems to like them. We even went to their little showroom and laid on a bed. But, then I noticed more and more reviews of Casper versus Leesa where the author mentions that they kept the Leesa for themselves. Were these just paid Leesa reviewers? Were they real?
ConsumerReports liked the Casper over the Leesa. But one from BrooklynBedding they liked even more. My issue with the BrooklynBedding one that CR liked was that it was only available at Wal-Mart (??!) and I was not doing that. BrooklynBedding also seemed to sell mattresses under the DreamFoam name, but only on Amazon. Oh, stop confusing me.

I then looked at Nest, which seemed fun. They make one called the LOVE BED which I almost bought because of the silly name/premise (not that loving in bed is a silly premise). Then I read in an article that Nest mattresses are also made by the BrooklynBedding people (don’t know if that is true, but then the internet wouldn’t lie to me).


The BB folks even had videos of their factories at work (located in Arizona) and people stated that it was confirmed that all the foams they used were american (chinese-made foams are apparently the worst and will give you radioactive cooties).

Casper also has their factories in the USA and uses similar foam, but the fact that CR seemed to like the BrooklynBedding mattress a tad bit more, I took the chance and ordered the "#BestMattressEver" bed.
What is to lose with a long (120 days?) trial period?


New bed frame. New mattress. Let's...


Big Box!
Yes. Our mattress came in a big box. Yes. It was moderately fun to take it out and watch it expand like some sort of crazy… expanding.. thing.

We ordered the standard “#BestMattressEver” model from BrooklynBedding. Got some nice cotton percale sheets from LL Bean that are crisp and cool and some new blankets and pillows (actually, the pillows we got are the best - from BedBathBeyond - and I’ll have to “blog” about those).

Comfy
I was thinking how much I liked my bed at home the other night while sleeping in a WESTIN Heavenly Bed.
The BB mattress is pretty comfortable. No weird soreness anywhere - even after the first night. It’s soft. And firm. Like me.

We aren’t using a box frame for this first time which seems rebellious and punk rock. The mattress just sits on the metal slats on our new Room & Board bedframe (which I also recommend). The big difference is how low the bed is now. This is just something unique to us, but we went from a very tall bed frame + boxspring + very tall mattress to a relatively low bed.




Yay or Nay?
Yay. I like our Brooklyn Bedding bed. That said, this was a very frustrating online shopping experience as you can imagine.
But, these things are relatively cheap (the King was $900? Or something like that) and they have a crazy long and no-questions-asked return policy.



]]> <![CDATA[The New Apartment: Things Bought - IKEA PS 2014 Secretary Desk]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10637 The New Apartment: Things Bought
My hope to one day assist someone doing research on appliances and things with an actual review and photos. Basically, this is what I was looking for when shopping.


The Thing: Desk
IKEA PS 2014 Secretary Desk white, birch veneer
IKEA Item #: 802.607.01


So Much Research
Last year at some point as we were trying to buy an apartment I came across a lovely secretary desk at a swell Scandinavian furniture shop. It was beautiful and perfect and was selling for a fair price. I didn't buy it because we didn't have the apartment yet and wasn't really clear if I needed a desk and/or if one would fit in the apartment to begin with.
I was wrong. I should have purchased that desk somehow.

Since then I've spent the past 10 months or so searching high and low for a decent looking secretary desk. Ideally something that I could keep my laptop in and close up when I was done as the desk would probably be out in the open somewhere in our apartment.

So much research. I feel like the "secretary desk" tag in Evernote is about to take over the entire account.

There are lots of nice secretary desks out there. Most have issues.
Style.
Size.
Price.

The little Ikea one kept popping up. I had seen it in the store before and it's small - the smallish of the bunch I had been looking at. It's super cheap as well - below $200. It's a very clean design and the white and birch color scheme basically match our apartment's color scheme.

Took a chance a bought it a few weeks ago.


Yay/Nay
Yay.
It was a bit of work to assemble in some areas and needed the help of my lovely wife on a few occasions - but if you've built an IKEA product before it's nothing you haven't done before. It's sturdy enough except when I'm banging away on my keyboard when it seems like the desk shakes a bit.

The flap bit that comes down to form the desktop is fairly sturdy.
There is a hole for cables but there isn't one for the small (and useful) top shelf - that would be a nice hack.

So far so good. I'm sure it won't last me a lifetime, but it's a decent little desk for what I need and it's handsome enough.



Photo Sep 19, 14 50 38


Photo Sep 19, 14 49 54

Photo Sep 19, 14 49 44]]> <![CDATA[The New Apartment: Things Bought - LG Refrigerator]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10634 The New Apartment: Things Bought
My hope to one day assist someone doing research on appliances and things with an actual review and photos. Basically, this is what I was looking for when shopping.


The Thing: Refrigerator
LG 10.1-cu ft Bottom-Freezer Refrigerator (Platinum Silver)
Lowes Item #: 638267
Model #: LBN10551PS

Photo Sep 19, 14 50 56


Refrigerator
We also bought a new frig as the one in our apartment was a crazy person one.
LG is one of the few reputable companies that seems to make a skinny refrigerator and we bought ours from Lowes.


But, First
Why in the world are there not more smaller, skinny refrigerators for sale in NYC? Showrooms have these huge monster suburbs units and the few small ones are those super cheap (and super short) builder-grade units.
Are we the only New Yorkers who think having a tall and thin refrigerator is a good idea?
(apparently, yes)


The Refrigerator
It is handsome. LED lighting on the inside. A little bing-bong noise if you leave the door open too long. It is only 10 cubic feet, which is the standard size for a small frig, so we didn’t gain or lose any space compared to the crappy unit we had.

The interior shelves could maybe a bit more versatile - it feels like you could squeeze one more in.

The freezer is a bit meh: there is a skinny drawer for your ice trays but it can be tricky to get to. The drawers have a bit of a clunky plastic feel (because they are clunky and plastic).
All of that said, I like it. It keeps things cold and is handsome to look at.




Lowes
We’ve been impressed with Lowes from previous purchases: blinds, ovens, dishwashers, and our bathtub. The refrigerator was a bit of a letdown - experience-wise.

Here’s how it went.
- Order refrigerator
- It’s backordered. They tell us that it’ll be a few weeks. It turns out to be close to four months.
- We get updates from the local store that it’s still back-ordered which is nice.

At some point, their delivery vendor XPO gets involved and we three different calls over the course of two months saying that the item will be delivered the next day. We call Lowes to confirm. They either can’t tell us for sure where the unit is or tell us that it will be delivered the next day. Upon calling the local store, they are able to shed light on things.
So, when dealing with Lowes don’t call the 800 number. Call the store. For real.

I can’t really stress how annoying and lame these ‘false alarms’ were. I sat at home twice awaiting a refrigerator that never arrived.
The cherry on top is when it actually arrives. They give me a time frame of 4pm-7pm. At 1pm, a delivery guy calls my office to tell me that he’s at our apartment and wondering we are.
“Well, it’s a Friday, and I want to get home soon - can you hurry up and get here?”
Classic.


Yay/Nay?
Yay. It's all good.

Photo Sep 19, 14 51 14


Photo Sep 19, 14 51 18


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Photo Sep 19, 14 51 59


]]> <![CDATA[The New Apartment: Things Bought - Frigidaire Gas Range]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10627 The New Apartment: Things Bought
My hope to one day assist someone doing research on appliances and things with an actual review and photos. Basically, this is what I was looking for when shopping.


The Thing: Gas Range
Frigidaire 30'' Freestanding Gas Range
5-Burner Freestanding 4.2-cu ft Gas Range (Stainless Steel)
(Common: 30-in; Actual 29.88-in)
Lowes Item #: 276881
Model #: FFGF3049LS

The New Apartment: Things Bought


Got Gas?
We had to replace the stove/oven in our apartment. It didn’t work. It was filthy. It had been built during the 1700’s. It was haunted. There was a family of raccoons living in it. Parts of it were radioactive.


Here’s my theory: Buy the simplest range you can find.
We have friends who bought this gorgeous Italian range for a million dollars. It really was gorgeous - I recall the knobs. The knobs were gorgeous.
That said, apparently it never worked correctly. Constantly being repaired.

Consumer Reports recommended this range. I liked two features on it (which are standard features these days, but this would be the most modern range we’d ever had):

(1) There is a single huge burner for ‘quick boil’. It’s huge. Things heat up quick. I also use it for warming tortillas.
(2) There is a small burner for simmering. Oh, it works great. Our old apartment had a pain-in-the-butt range that basically operated on two modes: Off or High. Simmering was a lost cause. This Frigidaire simmers like a pro.


Let’s see. What else?
There is a cool rectangular-shaped burned in the middle. I don’t know what you do with it. Maybe a griddle?

The oven works great. There is a light (this is all very luxurious to us) and it heats up very fast and keeps a stable temp. There is a broiler below but we’ve never used it. I’m not sure we ever will - in our old range I think the boiler is where all the mice hung out.


Yay/Nay?
Yay. I’m happy with this range. It’s solid and heats things up in a most attractive manner.




]]> <![CDATA[The New Apartment: Things Bought - Bosch SPE5ES55UC Dishwashing Robot]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10626 The New Apartment: Things Bought
My hope to one day assist someone doing research on appliances and things with an actual review and photos. Basically, this is what I was looking for when shopping.


The Thing: Dishwasher
Bosch SPE5ES55UC 18" Built-In Dishwasher with Recessed Handle Water
500 Series 46-Decibel Built-in Dishwasher with Stainless Steel Tub
Model #: SPE5ES55UC

The New Apartment: Things Bought


Let’s Wash Dishes
So, as my regular reader knows, we bought an apartment which was a major undertaking for us as we have never bought anything. Cars. Homes. Vacation Homes. Solid Gold Rocket Cars.
None of that.

Amateur. I’m sure when the bank ran our credit report it came back, “who?”

We needed to buy a dishwasher which was super exciting after being dishwasher-less after 16 years of rent-stabilized crazy apartment living. We had drawn up the kitchen plans via the Ikea kitchen planning tool and our contractor defaulted the dishwasher to the standard 24-inch model.

After a ton of research, I proposed the idea of doing an 18-inch model using the logic that we are only two people and we don’t really need a full-size dishwasher to wash our daily two plates, two bowls, and two coffee mugs. We’d be ‘saving up’ dishes for weeks in order to justify running a larger model. Also, the 18-inch one is kind of cool looking.
Additionally, we’d gain 6 inches that we could use elsewhere in the kitchen (which we did and it’s great and we put it to good use).

Bosch got lots of good reviews on the ol’ Consumer Reports and, let’s be honest, they look cool.
As much as I like the fancy Bosch units with all the hidden controls, there were two things that drove me to get the unit we got with controls on the front:

(1) Controls on the front = huge discount
(2) For the models with the hidden controls, there were reports of the buttons getting wonky because of the moisture coming out the top when you open it or some sort of jibber-jabber along those lines.

We bought this one. Our first dishwasher.



Yay or Nay?
Yay. It’s been a solid little dishwasher. It runs quiet. It cleans the dishes really well.
It’s handsome and quiet. The only issues we’ve ever had were our fault - we’d load it wonky and the soap dispense would get blocked. We figured that out pretty quickly and it doesn’t happen anymore.

We bought it at Lowes for $800. Their delivery service was great. Friendly and careful with everything.









]]> <![CDATA[Hola Argentina!]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10622 Hello Mendoza!
I was somehow able to hop on a trip to Argentina recently. Exciting. I had never been to South America proper and it’s a bit lame that as a ‘professional wine professional’ that I hadn't visited either Chile or Argentina.



Flight!
It’s a long flight. We were headed to Mendoza so had a 11 or so hour flight from JFK to Buenos Aries. Then a short 1.5 hour flight out to Mendoza.
The airline was Argentina’s national airline: Aerolineas Argentinas. They are a Delta/SkyTeam partner (as I’m all about those miles) and are also fun to say. Try it.
That said, they are kind of kooky. Did you know that they keep the cockpit door open during the whole flight apart from take-off and landing? That seems like a think that we don’t do anymore, but when in Argentina…

The Amazon is bumpy. Both flights down were pretty bumpy with turbulence and the pilot mentioned that the Amazon was stormy this month.
JUNGLE!
(Also, we were lucky to get upgrades to the Aerolineas Argentinas First Class seats and they were fine. Not 100% flat, but fine enough. It ain’t super fancy, but it’ll do!)


4am in Buenos Aries
We landed in BA at 4am in the morning and it was something like 80 degrees outside.
At 4am. That’ll wake you up.

A photo posted by R.Robot (@happyrobotusa) on





A photo posted by R.Robot (@happyrobotusa) on




Mendoza
We were there to visit vineyards and drink wine. Basically. And this “WE” stuff is myself and a colleague (we’ll call him “JOE CO-WORKER”).
Mendoza sits at the base of the Andes. To the east it super flat and dry. To the west, you have the towering Andes. It’s amazing country.

From a wine point-of-view, there are lots of interesting factors at play…

-- The Andes are relatively young and with the constant movement (relatively) you tend to get lots of different soil and minerals and all that. Often from the snow melt washing it down the hill.

-- Compared to almost every other major wine producing area in the word, there is basically no ‘maritime’ influence in Mendoza. When you look at basically every other wine producing region you have some sort of water influence that tends to moderate the weather. In Mendoza you don’t have that.

-- Altitude is interesting here. The vineyards in Mendoza are in the foothills of the Andes. They aren’t actually on the side of the mountain like you might see in parts of Germany where you might imagine a winemaker slipping and rolling down the hill.

A photo posted by R.Robot (@happyrobotusa) on



-- Malbec is the star. As you may know, Malbec came to Argentina from France and still grows there. The issue in France, and especially in Bordeaux, is that Malbec needs more heat and sun than Cabernet or Merlot. It’s also not as tough as the other grapes when dealing with diseases or pests. Why it’s done so well in Argentina is that it has found an environment with plenty of sun and heat and very little other issues. It’s flourished there.

-- When driving past the vineyards you may notice that many are covered in netting. Usually when you see that, the netting is there to keep birds out of the vineyards. In Mendoza the netting is there to protect the vines from hailstorms. This area gets very little rain, but it does tend to get a few violent storms featuring hail. Ouch.


The Best Time
It was a lovely week in Argentina. There were lots of vineyards looked at. There was a lot of delicious food eaten (and they really do eat dinner quite late). We toured around Mendoza which was a much bigger city than I expected.

What was the funnest?
The day spent up in the mountains at a little ranch. Gaucho style.
We went horseback riding. There were tons of amazing grilled meats for lunch. Spectacular views. A cranky horse.
That was great.

A photo posted by R.Robot (@happyrobotusa) on



A photo posted by R.Robot (@happyrobotusa) on



A photo posted by R.Robot (@happyrobotusa) on





Also, see all the photos in a bit more organized order on old-school FLICKR!
]]> <![CDATA[We bought an apartment in NYC: Chapter 3]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10619 Open House Memories
There was the apartment where the strainer in the sink was full of nasty food bits.
Or the “2” bedroom fifth-floor walkup with angry pregnant girls (angry about climbing all the stairs) and their husbands pleading, "but, honey, it'd be perfect!!!"
Or the large two bedroom with a zillion people including a woman wheeling a monster stroller around the place because that is what people do. Roll strollers through homes.

Baked cookies is a good idea. It makes it smell wonderful and you get cookies. That said, some realty agents hosting open houses need to work on basic human skills. We had one who became a bit confrontational with us over not having a reservation or something to attend the open house (even though there was a sign announcing the open house on the front door of the building and it was listed all over the internet).



Open House Strategies!

Wear Comfortable Shoes
At least here in NYC you’ll do a lot of walking and climbing stairs and running around.

Bring a bag
You’ll want to keep all the show-sheets that list the details for the apartments, but you also need to bring a few snacks and water and supplies for your day of trekking around the city looking at places.

Print out your list
I always tried to just use my phone to track where we were going, but Mrs. Robot would just print our itinerary with the maps and times and we’d always use that.

Be Nice. Dress Nice.
You never know who you are running into at these things. Be nice to the realtor. Be nice to the doorman. Don't dress like a slob.
C'mon. You're a grownup now.

Throwaway Email Addresss
Create a secondary email address that you won't feel bad about shutting down after it’s all over. The realtor folks always have a sign-in sheet and request an email - so Mrs. Robot had a secondary email address that we ended up using for everything because there may be a need for the realtor to actually contact you *but* you don’t want to necessarily live the rest of your life getting updates from them.

]]> <![CDATA[We bought an apartment in NYC: Chapter 2]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10618 Now. Find me house.
Here comes a lot of work. In NYC, Sunday is Open House day. Mrs. Robot would spend the week looking at Streeteasy, Trulia, and seemingly a zillion other sources and mapping our plan for Sunday.
Put on your comfortable walking shoes, pack a few energy bars and a bottle of water, and print out your list. Go.
I made a point of taking photos of every unit (which those folks who follow me on Orkut are all too familiar with) so that we had some sort of notes. That said, very often there would be a deal-breaker element that we’d realize pretty quickly and we’d be on to the next listing.
Usually size or price. Or having a swimming pool outside the living room window. Or no light whatsoever. Or being a land lease.


You’ll become a pro
“What the hell is a land lease?”, we asked. We had just seen an apartment that we still kind of adore. Top floor and corner unit. Lots of window. View of the harbor.
A land lease is when the building condo board doesn’t own the actual land. They are paying the owner rent every month. The issues are:
Your maintenance will be a tad higher because there is this ‘rent’ involved
If the land lease is for 100 years, no worries. But, if it will expire in 10 years, then that’s the problem. You have no idea what could happen when the lease is up. Jack up the rent higher? Knock the building down?






Make an offer
We put in about three offers before we bought. The first one was a huge 1BR that needed a ton of work (+$100K?) but had spectacular views. Like, you’d get nothing done because you’d be staring out the window the whole time. The maintenance was tad high and our asking price just wasn’t enough. It was sold for a good amount more than we offered, renovated, and then featured in the NYT Real Estate section.
This offer stuff is where your realtor will come in handy. They will put together the package and recommend/advise on asking prices and all that.


All Cash Offers
F---- you.
The worst. A few times we’d think about putting an offer in and we’d find out that an all-cash offer was already on the table.
Who the f*ck is putting all these all cash offers in?
God bless America, I’m happy that you can afford to buy an apartment with your available funds, but it’s killing us middle-class Brooklyn people.
Apparently, if you are a seller, the all-cash offer makes things much quicker and smoother as I’d imagine.]]> <![CDATA[We bought an apartment in NYC: Chapter 1]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10617 YO! WHERE YOU BEEN?
Well, normally the answer to that question is: BEEN DRUNK.
But, serious. Busy. Part of the “busy” is the “buying of an apartment” that we’ve recently completed.
I need to keep track of everything and the best way to do that is the hot medium of the future: “BLOGGINGS!”

Where to start
Two years ago, Mrs. Robot and I somehow found ourselves at an open house here in Brooklyn. It was a building that had been on our radar for a long time and the apartment was great. Wonderful space. Lots of closets.
The price, I’m sure in hindsight (and I’m not looking it up and starting to cry) was fair but being that I am the sober one in this marriage I said something like, “We don’t even know how much we can afford - we need to figure that out!”


Get your money
We are lucky in that we have a guy who we can run financial things by. He looked at all our moneys (strip clubs, gun running, hired thuggery) and gave us a range of what we could afford (which was $125.00).
That’s the first step. What do we have. What can we afford.
Assume 20% down. Assume a bag of cash needed for various inspections and closing fees.



Find a realtor
The best way to do this is to choose the hottest realtor photo on the benches at bus stops.
We actually chose our realtor after she appeared in a NYT article about a buyer looking for a similar apartment and price range. That makes sense, right?

Realtors, at least in NYC, are of course paid by the seller. They split a broker fee with the buyers broker so you don’t actually pay them anything.
That is, unless you are buying an apartment from a seller who is using a broker who doesn’t “co-broke”. Then, guess who has to write a big-ass check to a realtor? You. This is what happened to us. More about that later.


What a realtor does
In our case, we didn’t talk too much with our realtor person that often. They will give you access to their real estate search tool. They may send you a listing from time to time.
Their value is really in:
Answering real estate questions that come up
Putting offers in
Getting all the paperwork together for your offers, board interviews, and closing
Acting as a general advisor
What they don’t do is some dumb HGTV House Hunters stuff where they visit places with you and point things out. At least in NYC. We probably toured 3 or 4 places with our realtor - that said, we probably went to 60 or so open houses on our own.


What you want?
The other big step was putting together a list of wants and needs. Figuring out which neighborhoods we wanted to look at. Thinking of things that we totally don’t want.
All that stuff.
We had very simple needs: sound proofing so that we couldn’t hear the neighbors fart. A closet or two. An elevator.
That was our list. Since we live in a borderline third world building currently, anything else would be icing on the cake.
]]> <![CDATA[Hello Scotland. Nice to see you again.]]> https://www.happyrobot.net/words/robot_journal.asp?id=10597 Hello Scotland
Last week I was in Scotland. Oh my. What a trip.

Ardbeg

Islay!
If you like Scotch, you probably have an opinion on Islay. The whiskies that come from this small island off the southwest coast of Scotland are considered either:
(1) OMIGOD SOMETHING IS ON FIRE!
(2) The pinnacle of Scotch whisky
Or somewhere in between. Depends on who you ask.
They are famously known for a few distilleries who use a fair bit of peat to dry their barley during the whole production process. Peat, as you know, is that mass of compounding organic matter: plants, soil, other bits. Peat is harvested from the ground and cut into bricks, dried, and then can be used as a heat source.
Islay is known for their peat bogs and their history of using peat as an energy source.

Planes
We had been in Edinburgh. I had flown in Sunday afternoon. That particular day in Edinburgh was a bit stormy and when my plane landed the winds were blowing at around 30-35 miles an hour. The flight was fine except when we hit the runway and the plane did that crazy jerking side to side. It was, um, a horrifying landing.

We left Edinburgh and drove to Glasgow to hop on the 20 minute flight out to Islay.
Sit on the right side of the plane and try to get a window seat because most times, the planes fly in from the southeast (as you’d expect) and you can the three southern distilleries from the air: Laphroaig, Lagavulin, and Ardbeg.

This is when we landed at Islay

Oh, Islay
Kind of magical. But, then again, we were drinking whisky. Islay is sleepy. It is quiet. There seems to always be a faint whiff of peat smoke mixed with salt air. We were staying the town of Port Ellen.



Ardbeg
We had a full day at the Ardbeg distillery. We went on hikes. We saw otters. We ate oysters. We tasted whisky from barrels. We saw stills. We ate scones fresh out of the oven. Apparently in the UK there is a bit of a debate on how to eat scones: cream first and then jam. Or jam first and then cream.
It was a brilliant day.

That evening we drove over to Port Charlotte and ate very well. So well, I can’t recall a single thing I ate. But, I’ll assume I ate lamb as that’s what I do when in Scotland.
I’m going to shut up. Let’s look at photos.

The beach at Port Ellen, Islay

Hello Rainbow

Port Ellen: Good Morning

Scones at Ardbeg


The Highlands
A day or two after that we re-boarded the little plane and flew back to Glasgow and then drove up past Inverness for a day or so at Glenmorangie. I had been there before and had spent a pretty awesome (or, you could say “magical”) day there where I walked along the coast line during an unusually warm winter day by myself for hours.
Upon my return this time, I walked back down to the water and attempted a walk but was rained on quite a bit and then kept hitting patches of midges (tiny biting little jerk insects). Not that magical this time around.
Nonetheless, we all ate and drank like kings. Kings I tell ya!
There was dancing. Women were spun. Parlor games were played.
All of that was magical.

Casks at Glenmorangie

Whiskey at the Dornoch Firth

The Shore - at Glenmorangie House

See all the photos here! FLICKR! ]]>