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The Wrong Squid: It's a Providence Driving Minute!
Good morning, and welcome to today's Providence Driving Minute. This morning I was stopped at a stoplight, and I noticed the lady behind me using both hands to spray her hair helmet with hairspray. "She will stop doing that once the light turns green," I thought to myself. I was up late, therefore obviously not thinking clearly. The light turns green and I pull away. I glance in my rear view mirror to make sure there is still good in the world, but no. She has pulled away from the light, both hands above her head, one spraying Aqua Net, the other doing whatever you need the second hand for. Her car is slowly veering into the next lane. Cars cannot get around her. She uses the non-can hand to jerk the wheel so she sort of points the car in the general direction of the lane she is supposed to be in. I'm trying to keep my own eyes on the road, but I'm totally amazed at what is going on behind me. She continued to do this for at least a quarter mile, up to the on-ramp for 95, which was where I was stopped waiting to turn, convinced she was going to rear end me. I lost her on the highway, but honestly, I would not be surprised if she continued there. We once saw a girl putting on eyeliner at 80 miles an hour in the dark on a Saturday night on 95.
So anyway, this has been today's Providence Driving Minute.
(Be happy I didn't think of the PDM yesterday, as we saw the worst accident I have ever seen. Cars flipped, bodies in the street, lots of blood, further convincing Collin that she is the Angel of Death. But that was yesterday. Today, we have hairspray. Mama told me not to use it.)
