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The Wrong Squid: Crossing Over
It has been a tough few past weeks. Dorf lost her job, which means we lost our insurance. So I began looking for a new job, but since I wasn't expecting this, I basically am just looking for another computer job, which is not what I want to do. But, as Wash Hogwallop might say, "I gots to do for me and mine." And then he'd probably go eat some horse that's about to turn. But I think I may end up somewhere slightly better than where I am now (which basically could just mean I can take days off and not lose money) so that's good.
What has made all this particularly stressful is that we found out about a week prior to Dorf losing her job is that we will be moving from one Robot camp to the other. That is to say, Dorf is pregnant, so soon we'll be in the "Robots with babies" group. So that is quite exciting news, but it made losing insurance a huge pile of crap, since Dorf needs to go to the doctor like every 30 seconds now. But she just a got a new, better job with insurance, which takes care of that issue. I still need a new job, as I don't want to have to go right back to work after she has the baby, or lose a lot of money because I'm not at work. Being a contractor is not as freeing as it might seem.
We've got a good book about pregnancy and what to expect that more or less speaks to our sensibilities, but since it's about pregnancy, it obviously is aimed at the ladies. I have been looking for a book that addresses my concerns as an expectant father, but they seem to either be of the "here's how to change a diaper during a baseball game, brah" or have Anne Geddes-esque covers with naked baby asses on the cover. I do not want to be the guy on the subway reading the naked baby ass book. Even Dr. Spock, who had the same cover for decades, now has a baby ass cover. It's maddening. I have always felt like I was a little left of center, but I never needed that much advice. Now I do, and I want it to be from someone who I think is at least vaguely similar to me. Not some hipster shtick GRUP crap, not some new agey/christian nonsense (I lump all superstitions together), not some "here's how to shirk responsibility when the game's on" bullshit. Who can I trust? Apparently none of the 30,000,000 books out there.
If the baby is a girl, it will be named Baby Dorf. Dorf has already vetoed Cotton, Increase, and Barfin' Dave as boy names. Though, we have been referring to the fetus as "Diamond Dave," but that's a Dave of a different color.
Totally unrelated to any of this, I'd like to thank that prima-donna tanning-booth hamburger helper hand slapping douche A-Rod for trying to steal the Sox's thunder by announcing his greed during last night's game. Suck a nut, jackass. You almost make Jeter look cool.
