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The Wrong Squid: The methane anniversary
It was me and Dorf's one year wedding anniversary this weekend. We were also dogsitting Mikey, our landlord's dog, who is possibly the grossest dog ever. We took her with us up to the Catskills. The whole ride up she was farting up the joint, filling the car with a brussel-sprout-tinged cloud of terror. She also snores incredibly loudly and makes constant pig noises. Mijo is both in love with/terrified of her, so he was ridiculously well-behaved since if he steps out of line she barks angrily at him. (She also barks angrily if you basically do anything anywhere near her. She is old, so I guess she feels entitled to be mad at everything, just like old people.) Usually he runs around the house all night protecting us from whatever he thinks is attacking us (usually bunnies), but he was dead quiet. Unfortunately, the snoring and farting of Mikey was just as loud as Mijo ever is.
Saturday we went out to dinner to celebrate. Since Collin has that little creature growing inside her and maybe shouldn't drink, I have been on a sympathy strike and not been drinking. Since it was a momentous occasion, though, I had 2 glasses of wine at dinner, figuring someone should be living it up. Then I woke up at 2am with an incredible bout of heartburn, and the paranoid delusion that somehow stopping drinking had caused me to develop an allergy to alcohol. Then Mikey barfed on the floor. Then something was making a weird beeping sound, and after about 20 minutes of investigation, I think I decided it was the smoke alarm change the battery beep. Which then freaked me out because it was the exact night you're supposed to change the battery. And then I got kind of mad at the smoke alarm people for making it beep not only on the day you need to change them, but at the hour you were supposed to change them because I was trying to sleep. (If you haven't figured it out yet, if you wake me up in the middle of the night, I am pretty much open to any ridiculous idea that enters my head. For example, for dinner I had eaten a couple of empanadas with really spicy sauce, as well as a sampling of tiny sandwiches, but no, the heartburn was from an alcohol allergy caused by 2 months of not drinking). Anyway, I finally got back to sleep.
The next day Mikey ate the crotch out of several pairs of Dorf's underpants. Luckily they were in the laundry pile at the time, and not on Dorf. That could have gotten messy.
We also watched a ton of Lord of the Rings DVD extras. There was a point where someone said "The movie now belongs to the fans," which made me wish George Lucas shared that idea. Then I began to wonder if in 20 years Peter Jackson was going to go back and add a big ring around Mount Doom when it erupts, and then a bunch of random lizards for no reason.
When it is night and overcast in the Catskills it is incredibly dark and kind of freaky. But all in all, a smelly but not unpleasant weekend. Not even dog farts can ruin my enjoyment of the Dorf.
