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Accounting for Everything: There's A Hole In My Bucket
I asked my current lover about why he left his previous girlfriend once. He replied with an analogy that I have come to ponder this very moment.
"I was such a giving person. I had so much love for her and I didn't mind giving it all. I had a system. It was almost as if I had a bag and whenever I needed strength, I would reach in and take it. It never ran out because there were so many things I did to replace it. Things for myself. Things I loved so that I could love. She did some things for me that made their way into the bag but mostly I believed that if I relied only on myself to fill it then I would never be let down by someone. I would never find it empty.
Then one day I woke up and found it empty. I could not believe it. When I reached in to feel for any remains, I found a hole. And my lover was holding scissors."
I can relate because this is how he makes me feel. Although I don't think he meant to cut it. I don't think he means to steal every last piece of patience from my breast. To leave me breathless. Heart palpitating.
Well fix it, Dear Henry.
I give him instructions.
With what shall I fix it?
I don't care. I didn't break it.
But I've got a hole.
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