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honky cracker: Love, The Management
You're great. We love you. We think you're brilliant. Here's a place. A home. Get comfortable here. We got your back. Infact, we're buying your drinks. All of 'em
But maybe you don't fit right. Perhaps. No, you don't feel right. Sort of. Sometimes. Maybe. I dunno.
Hmm... we have a problem. Well, let's see. Best way to solve a problem is to eliminate it.
So we're eliminating you. Kind of. Maybe. Don't know why, exactly. We still love you. We think you're great. We think you're brilliant. We just don't quite know what to do with this. You know. As it is.
We think you're valuable. We just don't know quite how. Right now. There are other things that we're more concerned with. Maybe other people. Other people who are more important to us than you are. Other people who may have quit on us in the past, but dammit if we ain't anything but loyal!
But, on the other hand, maybe not.
Here's a raise. Good job! And no, we're not getting rid of you. That much we know is true. We think. We want you around. We need you. You're kind of Our Rock. But if you wouldn't mind showing this person over here everything you've done and How You Got to Be Here, we'd appreciate it.
Please go away. But don't. We don't quite exactly know how to do what it is you do without you. But don't do it here. Unless we ask you to. Of course.
Maybe. Who knows?
Love,
The Management
P.S. xoxo
P.P.S. Is that too much? With the x's? Maybe you should just remember the o's? We dunno.
