from Asia in Switzerland
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kiene angst: angst indeed
My father is here for a visit and for some reason every night I'm dreaming about dead animals. Or more precisely, last night it was almost dead animals.
I dreamt I killed a fly on my arm and as I watched it's death throes it grew into an odd mouse-like creature but with bigger ears and an almost humanly expressive face. My cat appeared and circled my feet questioningly . I knodded, she seized the odd animal and ran around the corner to tear it apart.
But she came back in less than a minute with the thing held more delicatly in her mouth and placed it gently at my feet. I could see it was still moving and picked it up thinking I could help somehow. It made very human moans and writhed in pain. I could feel blood, sticky, on my hands. I carried it to another room lay it on the floor and left, carefully closing the door behind me. Too scared to put it out of its misery and horrified by the thought of having killed something that could meet my eyes and feel pain.
Not surprisingly, my father looks old. I guess it takes distance and time to see the changes in people closest to you.
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