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Cootie Girl: Ode to the Nancy Whiskey Pub
2.2.2003
I know I have said it before but I really do love this bar. It has it all! The best bartender, usually a good crowd, and always - good times. Last night was no exception. Tricia and I got there a little before 10 and happy to see there was 2 spots at the end of the bar waiting for us. To our right is the jukebox, the golf tea game and an old school table shuffleboard game. When we got there a bunch of boys was playing the shuffleboard game (it seems to be the draw of the pub because any time I am there cute boys are playing shuffleboard). We quickly scan the bar to see who's there. I mean this is a dirty old man bar so usually the patrons are well dirty old men. Barry (bartender) was delighted to see us and offered us an opportunity to join his "market research" group with Mr. Jägermeister. I haven't been on a "market research" team in such a long time I said what the hell. It seems we were doing test ever 40 min or so and well the results were always the same - that's good stuff! At that we knew tonight was going to be fun!
After about 30 minutes, this group of teenage girls arrives, all order girly drinks and were just all around very annoying (as teens are). They quickly swoon in on the boys playing shuffleboard and attack in full force. One girl who I am assuming was the leader of the group said they were leaving in 15 minutes because they had to get to the upper west side for some party or something. In between jukebox tunes this girl was singing (what I have no idea) but I think she thought she was in a girl band. I was trying to overhear their conversations because they were just so amusing. It seemed the leader chick was very annoyed because the others were obviously not going to want to leave in 15. We also overheard the line "if you can dance you can get in anywhere" which quickly made us think of that Madonna song. Most of the boys playing shuffleboard didn't want anything to do with the teens (probably because they didn't want to get arrested) but one boy was suckered into letting them play. He lost and ended up having to get shots for them. When that was all over and the teens left the shuffleboard boys reached their point of total drunkenness. They were carrying around a pitcher of beer as if it were the world cup and drinking from it as if they were drinking the sweet nectar of the gods. Of course it turns out the one I thought was cute was married and the one Tricia picked had a really tacky tattoo over his heart (it was the word California as if it was his girl).
However, let me say the fun did not end there. My friend Christine shows up with her friend Maryanne. They were cocktailing it up in other parts of town so they were already in good sprits when they got to the N.W.P. They joined our "market research" team and the night carried on. We met a few other characters and had a good laugh. Christine and Maryanne left around 1:30 and Tricia and I continued (I mean it was still early and their was much research to be done). We met up with these two 20 something's (one obviously drunk) and kudos to Tricia for getting some smooches from him. I can't remember his name and I was having a bit of fun so when his friend gave him 50 cents to put down for the shuffleboard game I told him to pop that into the jukebox and play Snow's "Informer" for me. I am not sure why this bothered him but he said I was an asshole .... aaawwww how funny is that!
This is the part of the evening where things started to become blurry ... I somehow was speaking Spanish at the end of the night and was trying to get Tricia to end her debate with this guy over animal rights and the circle of life or something like that. Can't we all just get along? It was shortly after 3 when we started feeling the effects of all that research (or was it the beers). True test for me is when I can't feel my face anymore. We had to do one more test for the road and said good night to Barry. We will most definitely be back next week. I LOVE you Nancy Whiskey Pub, really I do!
