 |
honky cracker: Eat My Neighbors
In honor of both Rich and Lisa's posts, I'm going to do something similar. But instead of meeting my neighbors, I want you to EAT my neighbors. Here's a rundown, with cooking suggestions and a wine list.
JIMMY -- Tall. Skinny. Beady eyes. Not much meat there, but he's tall, so there's a lot of him. Would probably make a fine soup. Go with a chardonnay, if you're feeling white and like that shit, or merlot if you're feeling dark.
MARIE - 5'5-ish. Blond. Fair amount of breast meat. I would suggest grilling her up and drizzling her with oil and balsamic vinegar over greens. Serve with pinot grigio.
MIKE - You want steak? You got steak. Read meat all around. Drives pick-up. 35 ish. Jacked arms and a belly. You can munch on him for days. Cabernet Sauvignon.
JENNY - Kinda bony, but there's some meat there. Two words - drumsticks and thighs. Skip the wine and head straight for the beer. I recommend Allagash white ale.
CLAIRE - Creamy, dreamy, and just a bit sinful. Dessert. Top with marshmallow, butterscotch, hot fudge, and whipped cream. Enjoy, with a raspberry liquor or sherry.
