honky cracker: I Am Andy Kaufman

That's right, suckers. It's me.

I'm Andy Kaufman.

Although Nike is always telling me that I am Tiger Woods. And who am I to argue with Philip Knight? Michael Moore?

No. I'm not Michael Moore. I'm Andy Kaufman.

Or am I?

Maybe I'm Michael Moore pretending to be Andy Kaufman. Maybe I'm Andy Kaufman pretending to be Michael Moore, all the while I'm really Philip Knight.

No, wait. I'm Tiger Woods, remember? Shit.

"Birth was the death of him," Samuel Beckett said.

I think he was talking about Andy Kaufman. You know. Me.

Tiger Woods says so.


Regardless, I guess it doesn't really matter. All that really matters is that, as Joe Cocker once told me, I am so beautiful to him.

So what does that make me?

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i remember there were roses				the spanish lyrics to ";livin‘ la vida loca"; by ricky martin, translated from the original spanish into various other languages and then into english

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