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When they say they want to give you their two cents, what they mean is they want to share their opinion with you.
When they say six of one, half dozen of another, what they mean is the two options are equal in value.
When they say they purchased a combo-pass, what they mean is they had a threesome.
When they say they studied Physics at Arizona State University, what they mean is they broke up with their High School sweetheart sophomore year, not so much because of the attractive and available members of the opposite sex but because of the alcohol, which promised sweet love.
When they say I love you, what they mean is they really want to love you, but it has been kind of hard lately.
When they say they're restructuring, what they mean is although everyone at the bar that night agreed that nothing would leave the table, some were deeply disturbed by what you said, and cannot forgive you.
When they say they hate you, they mean it.
When they say it's been too long, we should keep in touch more often, what they mean is their current relationship is unfulfilling, but there is still a glimmer of hope, and that is more important than giving up everything they built for three long years and jumping back into a relationship that was more physical than emotional.
When they say I love you, they are drunk.
When they say mommy is resting, what they mean is you are getting another gimp key-chain for Christmas.
When they say Grandpa has cancer, what they mean is you have no idea how much your life will change once he is gone and how you will cry yourself to sleep every night thinking that he was the only one who ever loved you.
When they say get your hat, what they mean is you've had enough, it's time to go.
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