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Matt,
Tomorrow is Wednesday.
Did you know that in many countries throughout the world, Wednesdays are considered "Ball Kicking" day?
I just thought you should know that.
You know what else, I feel like I missed so many great oppurtunities to kick you in the balls while we were work neighbors. I mean, you were right there...
I could have waited out in front of your office and kicked you in the balls when you left work.
I could have intercepted the pizza delivery guy ( I would wear a fake mustache so you wouldn't know it was me )"Who ordeded da pizza, eh?" I would say. "I did Pizzaman" you would reply. "Here is your ah Pizza..." then I would kick you in the balls while you were reaching out to take the pizza I was handing you - then I would run for the door (Benny Hill music playing in the background)
I could have pretended I was a client - wait, that wouldn't work, you didn't have any clients.
I could gone without shaving for a couple of days, give myself a very bad dye job, and come in acting like the jackass you hired instead of me, and then when you were yelling at me saying, "I knew I shoudl have hired Pat. Why can't you be more like Pat?" i would have turned to you and said, "You mean like THIS!" and kicked you in the balls.
I really messed up this neighbor thing. I'll do better next time.
Pat
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