 |
Nutshell Kingdom: and her boyfriends
2003
... so lately I have become obsessed with Neko Case. I made tapes (that's right, I'm so fundamental) of Blacklisted and Furnace Room Lullaby to listen to when I drive around the mountains in my car at all hours of the night. She comes to me in the theatrical productions that are my dreams; not just the musicals either, but romantic comedies, "Badlands" style dramas, science fiction, and one really dirty Japanimation dream. My favorite songs are "Thrice All American" and "Deep Red Bells." These songs make me want to go for long walks at night, waiting for a yellow Jeep Wrangler full of spirited teenage girls to pull alongside me and take me to a wood-panelled rec room with no parental supervision and vodka/Kool-Aid punch. This basement would be the setting for an all night fashion show, put on by the girls especially for me, while I look through their photo albums humming Neko Case songs.
I would do anything to meet Neko; because if I did I would ask her out for coffee. She'd agree and we'd get along swimmingly. One fantastic night down, she'd be back on tour, and then I'd get a surprising phone call a few nights later (we'll say three nights). She can't stop thinking of me and if I don't have anything better to do, could I join her on the road? So I do. After the tour, we move in together. She lives in Chicago, but I think I would push for San Francisco (since I kind of hate Chicago). She'd agree. We'd move and set up a new life. She'd start recording again, get signed to a major country label, get ginormously stellar reviews for the album and begin touring again. I'd get upset and threatened by her success and emotionally blackmail her into calling off the tour. The album would subsequently flop and she'd be back in my sweet lovin' arms again and away from all the jackals out there trying to exploit THAT VOICE. She's sing just for me, learning the entire Stephin Merritt songbook. Eventually, her scarlet hair would fade and her voice would start to crackle. I'd gain a little weight, but not too much. We'd lose interest. I'd go fishing a lot, or to strip clubs. Of course, that would mean I'd have to lock her in her room a lot more. She'd get crazier and crazier (as famous people do) and eventually I would probably just lock her up and not come back home.
It sounds sad, but boy those in-between years would be a lot of fun. and the sex would be great.
