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Nutshell Kingdom: Time: Is it like a river after all? No!
2007
Time is like a sharply hit ground ball. No, shut up, I've put a lot of thought into this. Sometimes, it's hit too hard and escapes just past your glove, going for a base hit for your opponent (we'll call them the Deathtown Coffinworms - you should see their mascot). Other times, it inexplicably rolls between your legs. Sometimes, it takes a bad hop and hits you in the nuts. Ow. That really hurts. There are times, more often than not, when you can concentrate and execute and field Time cleanly, scooping it up out of the dirt in one smooth motion and yet, even then, you have to make the throw to first base. You can never hold onto Time. If you were to catch it and just hold it in your hand, anarchy would ensue. It would be just like that scene near the end of the Bad News Bears where the coach's kid just holds the ball to get revenge on his prick of a dad/coach. That poor kid was mobbed by his teammates and almost lost his team the game. No, you cannot just hold onto Time; you must get rid of it as soon as you catch it or all hell will break loose.
Some people say that Time is like a river, which is not true. A river never takes a bad hop and hits you in the nuts.
Actually, rivers do that all the time if you are standing in them, the current swells and rises, but that is a nice sensation in a river, like a cool urgent caress. Time does not caress your balls. Rather, it smacks them so hard that you want to fall over and cry out in a high-pitched voice while everyone else laughs at you and your coach asks you publicly whether you were wearing a cup and when you say "no," he suspends you for next week's game against Ernie Lee's Tire Service - and you really wanted to stick it to Ernie Lee's Tire Service. Those kids just make you mad. They're idiots, each and every one of them and their coach too.
That is why Time is like a groundball and not like a river. Something else may be like a river; I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but I am sure of it. Something is like a river, just not Time.
