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sunshine jen: The Ceilings Speak Out
Dear United States of America,
The Society of Ceiling Knowledge (SOCK) was shocked to see that once again a ceiling was evoked to describe the debt limit of the United States Government. As you know from previous correspondence, many ceilings feel that the term 'debt ceiling' is an inaccurate term since it does not convey the scope and potential of ceilings but instead shows them as something limited and not able to be crossed.
Since the dawn of man, ceilings in partnership with roofs have kept the rain or the sun off many a family. For centuries, people have stared up at ceilings before closing their eyes to go to sleepy sleep. Ceilings have held light and painting of the highest order. Some ceilings have even vaulted upwards toward a higher purpose.
And our point to you, United States, is that we are tired of our good name being brought up with the idea of debt. Ceilings have been dragged through the mud, and we feel it is time to speak up and claim our rightful place---above the floor and walls. We are not a limit. A stairway to another floor can cut right through us. In future, please refrain from using ceiling after the word debt.
We have also encouraged our friends at the Association To Promote All Cliffs (ATPAC) to take action after the term, Fiscal Cliff, came into popular usage. Cliffs are harmless geological formations, but Fiscal Cliff turned cliffs into pinnacles (which they're not actually) of fiscal calamity and potential economic devastation.
For over five hundred years, the Association for the Promotion of Cliffs has sought to promote their five thousand members in a positive light. Cliffs are an important part of planet earth. Without cliffs, there would be no mountains, no fjords, no ocean views.
The ATPAC decided to take the high path and not make any formal complaint. They have more pressing matters---erosion, mud slides, and inexperienced climbers. They say they care not for the matters of man financial or otherwise. They simply wish to stand day after day and be admired for their endurance.
Finally we contacted Lovers of Sink Holes (LOSH) and Society of Deep Abysses (SODA). They also would ask that you please refrain from using the terms Sink Hole, Abyss, Chasm, and Quick Sand to describe a drama in governance. Hole is acceptable. Nobody has any objection to Hole----singular and without any dramatic adjective.
We have been unable to reach the Weather Societies: Wonders of Nature (WON) and League of Stupendous Tempests (LOST). They have been busy with global warming. To our knowledge, LOST has never had any objection to use of Hurricane, Tornado, Tsunami, or any other storm word for metaphorical purposes.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Applegate's Dining Room Ceiling
Board Chairceiling
The Society of Ceiling Knowledge
Via Email
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