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tim!: 97 Things to Fuck
2002
Fuck cigarettes. Fuck Emphysema. Fuck Lung Cancer. Fuck Heart Disease. Fuck Stroke. Fuck mental mind games after quitting. Fuck I miss smoking.
Fuck traffic. Fuck driving. Fuck shifting gears. Fuck braking. Fuck people on bikes. Fuck people in cars. Fuck pedestrians. Fuck working. Fuck team players. Fuck productivity. Fuck timesheets. Fuck co-workers. Fuck co-workers' erect nipples. Fuck Vice-Presidents. Fuck the Internet. Fuck work time access to Internet Porn. Fuck counting green cells. Fuck 401k plans. Fuck the Dow Jones Industrial Average.
Fuck my cat's smelly ass. Fuck cat puke. Fuck dogs smaller than a pillow. Fuck barking. Fuck curbing your dog. Fuck dogs in general. Fuck hamsters. Fuck ants. Fuck fallen arches. Fuck eating. Fuck sleeping. Fuck waking up. Fuck celebrity.
Fuck white wine. Fuck David Spade. Fuck David Blaine and his "magic". Fuck Barney. Fuck Baby-Bop. Fuck B.J. Fuck city buses. Fuck people who drive city buses past my house for a living. Fuck people driving past my house to get anywhere. Fuck TV. Fuck Ross and Rachel.
Fuck 9.6 volt cordless drills. Fuck Chicken Kiev. Fuck Colorado. Fuck Central Time Zone. Fuck Meatball subs. Fuck Mexican food served on really hot plates. Fuck car washes. Fuck whining. Fuck dining room tables. Fuck gas packs. Fuck saving money. Fuck childhood diseases. Fuck automobile crashes.
Fuck Burger King french fries. Fuck hi-fives. Fuck snow. Fuck humidity. Fuck socks. Fuck toe jam. Fuck smegma. Fuck belly-button grease. Fuck the color brown. Fuck bed-wetting. Fuck dirty diapers. Fuck 2 dimensional World Scenes brought on by depression. Fuck pine trees. Fuck bullies. Fuck early 90s standup comedy. Fuck aliens. Fuck Fox Mulder, but do not Fuck David Duchovney. Fuck gray nose hair. Fuck male pattern baldness. Fuck plain M+Ms. Fuck not knowing when to stop saying Fuck.
Fuck 22 year olds. Fuck pampas grass root systems. Fuck the 80s. Fuck Star Trek and all its configurations. Fuck Wu Tang Clan Ain't Nothin' to Fuck With. Fuck the local news. Fuck God Bless America. Fuck Let's Roll. Fuck No More Tears. Fuck people who write lists of things all beginning with the same word. Fuck Italians eating at The Olive Garden. Fuck Mexicans eating at Taco Bell.
And last on the list but first in my heart, Fuck that Jared guy who only eats nasty Subway sandwiches.
