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what would matt johnson do?

Friends. i know these are trying times for all of us. and sometimes, i'll be honest, i feel like i am not going to make it. and when that happens, i look down on my wrist at my bracelet and ask "what would matt johnson do?"

well, after asking that and then realizing that i had no idea what matt johnson would do, i thought i'd ask him. and you can, too.

WWMJD is his significant other had a huge spare bedroom and needed a roommate but kinda never asked you to move in?
in need of a bigger apartment - 7/29/2003 10:34:44 AM

Matt Johnson would use sexual politics to shift power into his court, and then make a move-in inevitable. However, in this case, i advise the age old wisdom handed down from our dear friend pony: "Hold tight, Monkey!"
if matt johnson worked a lousy afterschool job in a crappy corporate bookstore, would he swipe poetry anthologies and victorian anonymous erotica for his best friend?
sage folly, eh? - 7/28/2003 9:44:42 AM

Oh, yes. Yes, he would.
Is it so wrong to drink alone?
binx - 7/28/2003 9:42:06 AM

Matt Johnson never drinks alone.
how old are you? did you fall off your 4 wheeler

somebody - 7/2/2003 9:44:42 PM

31. No. ... Uh, I mean, I don't HAVE a 4 wheeler.
WWMJD if he got stoned and watched Big Wednesday?
jason - 7/2/2003 9:44:07 PM

what's Big Wednesday?
What would you do if a friend from out of town were sleeping on your couch, and then in the middle of the night discovered that dream about peeing in the river was no dream at all?
not laura - 5/20/2003 10:26:49 AM

Listen, bedwetter. I love that couch, don't "spray your territory" while you're up here! OK? Anyway, I thought TIM was the bedwetter.
I like to mow my lawn naked. My boyfriend says he has lost some of his "respect" for me after seeing me mow the lawn. I am not unattractive. What would Matt do? Continue to mow naked, dump the boyfriend, or have him mow the lawn? Any other suggestions?
birdie - 5/15/2003 1:30:06 PM

Any boy that loses respect for you after seeing you naked should be dumped. You should then move in next to me, and continue mowing the lawn naked.
Would MJ pay a quater to gain access to the internet in a portable lavatory to uh, do some business?
binx - 5/14/2003 1:18:59 PM

Not on your life, the only way an internet connection is getting into my bathroom is if there is a webcam in there and i'm getting paid big bucks.
did you poop in school?
WWMP? - 4/22/2003 2:31:06 PM

no, those bathrooms were nasty, dude.
When would matt do his taxes?
The15thAlready?! - 4/15/2003 4:17:36 PM

Today, of course!
Has Matt ever had Georgia tomato-based barbe que on a bun? If so, would he prefer this type of barbeque as does kristen? Also, is matt pespsi or coke (i, coke) hamlet or antigone? no or greek chorus? and most importantly salt works or taste of country?
Kristen martin - 4/8/2003 8:48:47 AM

Yes, No, Coke, Hamlet, Greek Chorus, Salt Works.
Who wins in a fight: Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal from the A-Team, or Hannibal the Carthaginian general?
Ish - 3/4/2003 4:28:43 PM

I'm gonna have to go wtih Hannibal Lecter. Even though A-Team Hannibal has Mr. T, he was still in breakfast at Tiffany's. And that other Hannibal just kept getting beaten by the romans until he commited suicide. sounds like a pussy to me.
If I asked you "what time is it now?" How could you possibly give me a correct answer?
fred - 2/25/2003 11:44:52 AM

By stopping time. But this is hardly a question about what I would do. Let's keep things on track, people.
WWMJD, I think I'm lost in Jersey. All I can see is Nail Salons. It was so innocent .. beer .. a comment "she's cute and her accent isn't that bad". Now I'm in Jersey believing that security just isn't tight enough around Manhattan.
SW - 2/25/2003 11:44:03 AM

Matt Johnson tries to avoid New Jersey as much as possible.
What would you do if someone offered you a new braclet? What would you want it to say this time?
queenie - 2/12/2003 1:57:12 PM

What would Matt Johnson do if he was in Toronto in Febuary (and there was no Pony)
snotty McSnotSnot - 2/11/2003 10:22:31 AM

I wouldn't go to a Ponyless Toronto. I also don't recommend going in February. With that said, "HAVE FUN!"
What would you do with the inventor of Pop-Ups if you had him locked in the trunk of yourn car?
Jeff - 2/11/2003 10:19:05 AM

I would just drive the car off the Williamsburg bridge.
WWMJD if an X-coworker told him that she liked getting "it" up the butt?
Cheesehead - 1/28/2003 10:38:37 AM

He would stare in awe.
What would you do if you were offered $500,000 for one of your testicles? Would the answer be different if for some reason you had a total of three?
mosel - 1/28/2003 10:37:11 AM

i would turn down such an offer. My testicles are worth far more than half a million dollars. ESPECIALLY if I had three.
So, What would you do if your friend pissed you off, so you decided that to get back at him you would make up some rumors about him having, oh, let's say nuclear weapons. If he said he was sorry, would you still bomb him?
Geroge - 1/14/2003 2:06:02 PM

Probably not.
my tummy hurts and i am stuck in connecticut with a one hour train ride ahead of me. I wish hours ago I had written you and said, "should i eat this chicken-salad sandwhich or not?"
pants don't fail me now - 1/14/2003 2:01:49 PM

sit in an aisle seat.
if you suddenly found out you were being interviewed on national t.v. about how you feel about your crappy job, what would you do?
stizzewart lizittle - 1/14/2003 2:01:23 PM

Just let 'er rip, I say.
it's 2003. what do I do now?
Luc - 1/6/2003 9:03:17 AM

I'm gonna party like it's 1999.
can i crash at your place?
raj mahmood syed - 1/6/2003 9:02:41 AM

why not.
do you think the power company would get my electricity turned on faster if I hunted them down and gave them all a world famous BJ or threatened them with a weapon? what to do...
yve - 12/10/2002 11:40:09 AM

negative reinforcement never works with me. So, I think you should go with the blow job.
want to see all the
inquiries he has answered?

Even Jesus wonders what matt johnson would do!

thanks to tamara, who came up with the
whole WWMJD idea and bracelets!
she is rock-n-roll cool!