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Art Colony: 10 reasons why I should host MTV's crypto show
Thursday, February 9, 2006
› by victoria
10.) One of my most treasured possessions (that is still in storage, sadly) is this book that I bought in London back in 2000 on my freshman trip there called "A Natural History of the Unnatural World," and which never ceases to aid me today in being able to spout random facts. Like those Big Mesopotamian statues of bulls with human heads? So totally Lamassu.
9.) Because I ruined one of my older sister's dates when she was in college--okay, her only date with this guy named Steve, when she had him over for dinner (not as though it was going to turn out well anyhow)--by getting into a debate with him over the mkole-mbembe, insisting that there was a possibility that some form of dinosaur could still exist in the Congo.
8.) The fact that Biff and I can have long conversations about such phenomena as the mysterious blobsters.
7.) When I was in London back in 2002, we were staying in this strange "carriage house" thing. I shared a room with my younger sister. We were all woken up and terrified by this bizarre screeching noise that was absolutely spine-chilling. The next morning our hosts said that the noises must have been "the foxes" but there was no frikkin' way that noise was from a fox. Or 2 foxes, possibly 3. So I have experienced some unexplained phenomena.
6.) Another weird phenomena thing that I wish I had saved some souvenirs from: wayyy back when I was a small child--maybe 4 or 5, which is weird since I don't remember very much from when I was that young--I was in Rimini on the Adriatic ploshing about on the beach with my sandbucket and shovel and the water was filled with strange little things about the size of ladybugs. They looked just like this, or perhaps small aquatic sowbugs. I filled my bucket with water and there were maybe 10 of them swimming around inside the bucket. It was so weird and so cool.
(*This is back when I'd actually go swimming in the Adriatic--i wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Very very gross).
5.) When I was in highschool I used to rent quality, truly excellent books like this and read about 10 of them every weekend. Weird phenomena have the coolest names, too: I don't dare do a google search since this computer's already running slow, but there are probably bands named after these things, well, like the foo fighters (named after a World War II phenomena where fighter pilots would see strange balls of fire following alongside their planes--feu means "Fire" in french, and it got mangled into "Foo"). There should be more like Springheel Jack or Thylacine or The Skunk Apes...
4.) I've already been to Loch Ness. Witnessed, on a sign against littering: "Look for Nessie, but Don't be Messy!"
3.) It'd make a good excuse for me to dive into anthropology and sociology in the process of filming the show, and I love anthro & sociology.
2.) I could learn spanish in a flash in case they wanted me to do a show about El Chupacabra.
1.) If they wanted 2 hosts, we got a tag team here. Biff likes cryptozoological stuff as much as I do--and we've had enough experience watching National Geographic channel specials like "In search of the Giant Anacondas" to know what qualities are obnoxious in a television-show host & so, what qualities to avoid. Plus we fit in the host/age demographic quite neatly.
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