I wanted to write this last night but I went out after work and got a little drunk and well got home late (see 27 minutes below) and it's late now but I'm on the quill so I hope I can write this before I fall asleep. OK. I know I complain a lot about my job but really it hasn't been sucking as much (maybe because we got rid of some of the work load) but also because I don't work every day like Victoria (does that girl ever sleep?). Anyway I still can complain how cheap my job is. We don't get a holiday bonus - fine I know a few other companies that don't do this - we also get shitty raises (I think last year mine was a whopping 1.82% - yes 1 PIONT 82 % of an hourly rate).
Now I work for a global printing company (actually a smaller division of a global printing company) that literally has offices around the world. Last year a few guys from our uptown office organized a night out at their local bar for some holiday cheer. I think the woman that runs our division felt bad she didn't do that last year so this year she hosted the holiday get together. The only catch was that it was a cash bar - YES a Buy Your Own Booze holiday work party. How cheap is that. I so didn't want to go and actually out of the 9 people that are in my office 8 of us went (I was guilted into going as I have been missing some team building meetings and it was mentioned in an email to my direct boss). The head boss had a nice speech about how great we were doing and how much of a TEAM we all are then made us all say our name and what facility we work at. I swear I felt like I was at an AA meeting. When the speeches were over and the food was served I felt it was my chance to get the hell out of there. I told my direct boss I was leaving and he was like you better say good bye to the big boss you know to save face. I was like Jesus how much ass kissing do I have to do to get a 2% raise. DAMN! The whole thing took me about 1 hour 13 min and I was out of there. I went to see Eugene Mirman & Bobby Tisdale's show "invite them up" tonight and it totally rocked. Comedians that where there tonight included Todd Barry, Louis C.K., Patton Oswald and Seth Morris. It actually helped me get through the painful 73 minutes of hell I had to endure. Oh and I also need to have drinks with Louis C.K. as well as Barenaked Ladies (wouldn't this be a good idea for a who would be at your last super table list?) he sounded like he doesn't like kids as much as I do even though he has one.
27 Minutes
So I go out after work last night not really intending on staying out late but end up drinking for 4 hours and getting a very late dinner. I hit my arm at the dinner on a high table corner and now have this lovely blue spot that is just in the right spot to be hit repeatedly by accident. I don't know how it happened but I seem to have gotten a bit drunk off of bud lights? Bizarre I know. Anyway I take the train home because my cheap ass company can't give me a decent raise I can't have the luxury of taking a cab home at will. (I think the quill is kicking in now folks ....) where was I .... Oh yeah so I think I was sleeping most of my train ride only waking up every now and then to see if everyone around me is familiar - I didn't want to wake up traveling back downtown cause I slept right through my stop (I did that a few times and well at my age shouldn't be doing that anymore). The train stops at my station but the fucking conductor doesn't open the doors in the front of the train and then takes off again. I was pissed because I was in the front of the train damn it. I had to get off the next stop and walk across to the other side to catch the train going back downtown. Just so you know the train stop after mine is totally inconvenient so I just couldn't walk the few blocks back to my stop. I was at the bottom of the enormous hill at 12:20 in the morning tired, cold and drunk. Three other trains YES 3 trains passed going uptown before one finally came back downtown. I waited 27 minutes - 27 minutes which I could have spent sleeping so I could wake up on time and get to work on time. I think I was 37 minutes late for work. I am blaming it all on that f-ing MTA conductor. Thanks MTA conductor you doing a bang up job - maybe you'll get a 2% raise this year too.
