HOTPOCKETS! Have you had these before? I picked up a box a while ago to have in the house just for those days I want a hot treat but have no time or patience to cook anything. You know the days you wish you had bread and cheese in the house to make the perfect grilled cheese but the bread has gone bad and the cheese was finished last week. Well Sunday was on of those days for me and I wanted something warm and quick. I popped one of these suckers in the microwave and it says to cook it for only 2 minutes. Now when I heat up food in the microwave I usually cook it for 6 minutes so I thought it was odd that this little "cooking sleeve" could get the job done in 2 minutes. There is a warning on the "cooking sleeve" that says CAUTION: FILLING WILL BE HOT - I missed this warning sign.
Two minutes later I am holding my hot treat wrapped in a paper towel and the outside doesn't seem all that crispy like the package said it would. I still believed at this point that this hotpocket wasn't cooked enough in 2 minutes. I take a bite and well not bad, not good either but it's what I expected. By bite number three most of the filling moved to the bottom of the hotpocket. I get halfway through the thing without an incidence and then I took that bite off to the right and the filling just spilled out on the left burning, nay SCALDING the left inside corner of my mouth. It blistered right away. I must have drank two cold pints of water just to cool the burn off. I waited 10 minutes for the damn hotpocket to cooled off before I even attempted to finish it which I didn't because by that time it got all congealed and shit. What the fuck is the purpose of these things if one cannot enjoy them. Now I have this lovely raw patch on the inside of my mouth I can't stop messing with. Is there anything I can do to facilitate the healing process in this area? (Please don't suggest a heaping bowl of Capt'n Crunch cereal that shit only rips up the roof of your mouth.)
