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Cootie Girl: what's that - smelly?
9.10.2007
The following is a transcription of the "Young Ones" episode "Bambi" as it aired on American MTV in the mid-'80s.
Rick: Neil, I hate you.
Neil: Oh, yeah, that's right, pick on me. I mean, I've already had personality hassles from a complete stranger today.
Vyvyan: [rooting through the garbage with a fork] Hey! There's a dead rat in there! Great! [He eats the rat's head]
Neil: Yeah, this complete stranger came up to me, right, and called me smelly! This complete stranger shouted "smelly!" at me! I wouldn't have minded if he was a hundred _yards_ away... [he raises his arms and leans over Rick and Vyv] I mean, come on guys, you can tell me truthfully, do I smell?
Mike: Yes.
Neil: Come on guys, I can handle it, you can tell me, do I smell...What do you mean, "yes"?
Vyvyan: We mean yes you smell...Smelly!
Neil: Oh, great, yeah.
Mike: Sit down, Neil. [Neil sits at the table]
Neil: Sorry.
Every day I feel like running into my office and asking "come on guys, you can tell me truthfully, do I smell?" I swear I am getting a complex and I really don't think I am a smelly person. I shower daily (sometimes twice) and I wear my cloths only once then wash them. Yet every day when I go to the bathroom at work that damn little air freshener thing sprays a puff of "fresh scent" and I think hey is that because of me? Seriously EVERY TIME I am in the bathroom that thing sprays. Like is knows ... it is telling me damn you just walked in to the room and I can tell you smell. WTF!
My nemesis is the AIR WICK FRESHMATIC Ultra Automatic Spray. Sure it's on a timer and I am probably going the same time every day but really do you HAVE to spray every time I walk in? Isn't it enough my name is Kelly and I was called SMELLY KELLY my entire childhood? WHY must I be tortured so WHY?
Besides the bathroom freshener telling me I smell my new job is pretty darn good. WAY BETTER than the last one even though it's still the same shitty type of work. (no pun intended.)
