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honky cracker: champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends
Champagne for Davey, who, despite the fact that we haven't talked in ages, is always there with a supportive word and ready to include me in his plans to take over the world
Champagne for Klutch.xls, who no matter how crazy I get, always listens and takes me seriously.
Champagne for S.P., who, when I needed a pen tonight, said to me "Take this pen. My father carried it out of the World Trade Center from the 78th floor, and I know you're going to do something great with it." I tried to refuse this... I'm sure I'd lose it... but when someone wants to give you a gift like this, you have to put all modesty aside, accept it, and feel wicked humbled and honored. Which I am. Humbly so. This is way more than I deserve. But I am so honored... Thank you.
Champagne for Paul and Jess, cuz you're beautiful and you know it. And if you don't, you do now.
Champagne for Rich, for takin' a chance on an unknown kid in Boston. I coulda been a contender.
Champagne for the World/Inferno Friendship Society. Can't wait to see you tonight. Y'all kick ass.
Champagne for Friday Night Dogg, who said "If Chris has to get out of this car, then I'm comin' with him!"
Champagne for Anne, for reading long-ass EMails from a doofus in Boston.
Champagne for my bed, who's put up with me much longer than she should have. ("Dude! It;s, like, afternoon. Dontcha wanna get off me?")
Champagne for G&M, for letting me crash on New Year's. Most comfortable couch ever.
Champagne for Q-Dogg, for giving me a hug even though she wasn't sure why I needed it.
Champagne for Ben.xls, cuz I owe him a bottle of Moet.
Champagne for Wicke, for staying true to himself in the face of tempation to do otherwise. Stay strong, my friend. Be brave. It will pay off in the end.
Champagne for Pony, for inspiring me and encouraging me to write even when I REALLY don't feel like it.
Champagne for Richard C, who after all these years, decided to get back in touch with me. Whalers vs. Peguins, my man. Whalers vs. Pens.
Champagne for Cootie Girl, for listening to the messages I leave her at 4:30 AM and giving me wake-up calls when I need them. And for all those nights at NWP. Those rocked. (but don't drink it till you're done drying out.)
Champagne for my little brother Dave, who, even though he won't drink it, always makes me realize that it's not all about me, but about the greater good of everyone around us.
And champagne for my parents, who, even though it's not always all about me, make me feel like it is.
And as for my sham friends... Well, you know who you are and what you've done. So real pain... No. To hell with it. There's some champagne for you all as well. Just don't put it on my tab.