2001:December:3
2001
First off, I miss my husbando like crazeeee. It is so hard for me to leave my life with him and come out into the world and function as a student and worker. When I think of happiness and things that make me happy, it need only include mark and I snug in our tiny house with our shabies.
Second, in college, I noticed a trend towards higher ponytail/messy bun things for the wimmen. It's disconcertingly forties/fifties.
Thirdly, I'm rounding into another horrifying week of Procrastination? There's no time, man! (but I'll manage to find a way)
Fourthly, poor I am. Loser me always says every year that she's going to help the family out by getting a christmas job, but I never get around to it. If only it were a matter of "show up on Friday and Saturday and Wednesday evening and you're hired". I'm so far, letting the family down, and I have excuses again this year.
Fifthly, scoff you may at astrology, but nearly everyone I know (myself included) who has a predilection for getting addicted to things (coffee, pot, beer, tv, etc) has a piscies placement somewhere. For me (pot and alchyhol), it's the mars... for my brother (crack) and Rachel (coffee), it's the sun... for mike (pot) it's the moon. Of course this isn't scientific, so don't go nuts on me arse.
OK, the party. Firstly, I was (maybe I'm into these numbering of things because I've got a lot to do this week people, and it helps me) very impressed. Contrary to my previous doggings, this party didn't turn out to be a strange, annoying cocaine-confident vibe. In fact, it really didn't seem like anyone I talked to was on cocaine. Very refreshing. The last party I went to at Courtney's was so wretched and sad that I was QUITE reluctant to go to this one, and only did so because Eddie personally invited us. I thought it was going to be another "fun to prep for - but shitty to attend" party like the 80's fest (although time has made this party funnier). Secondly, I'm crazy. I've had this whole "blue moon" theme, so I called this party my "once in a blue moon getting drunk as I wanted to" m.o. You see, I had preconceived notions that it would be a bunch of hyper-confident zing-y people would be talking about minutiae. It was so funny to see me just not care. It was my reality, and I didn't do anything that I didn't want to do. This meant, if conversations were boring to me, I politely (hopefully) wrapped them up and left... and it also meant that if people were interesting to me, I tried to talk to them (but of course I only had time for about four people) And yes, I look back in horror at glomming to poor Sandy and Val. They are quite interesting to me, and I rather felt like I put on some "I'm 30" patina and looked through it. Oh vey! Something that irritates the shiite muslim out of me when I do it. But hey, I'm insecure, and it was part of my latest lifetheme. But all in all, they seemed quite interesting, but the only real fun in being their friend seems to be to penetrate to another, more inner level - and they have such crowded lives already it seems. Nonetheless, I had a great time monologuing and sporadically listening. Note to self: shut up!
Other than that, it was really fun to be in a blonde wig and, unlike others in our circle, I find Wilmington more dear every time I see these creatures. I didn't really come alive and morph into a newer, better person, but the party was a pleasant surprise and quite fun. I certainly did add things to my body of research. I'm also sure that I was obnoxious and offended people as well.
Does this stream of consciousness meandering make an iota of sense?
Basically, I just wanted to convey that I really don't like working, i don't like mondays, i like pot, i may be annoying, i am annoying, i LOVE my husband, i want to broaden my friends circle, and I'd rather be lazy.
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