2001:December:8
2001
It takes a long time to go from thinking about writing to writing in this new aol system we're trying out. So here I yam. I'm doing a rare write from home because I only got centered and in gear by zoning out and upwatching some highly good cable tv. No one is dropping by to see me, and mark is off delivering his seattle sister's christmas gift for delivery via his mom's big pkg. sooooooooo I'm bored enough and lonely enough to write you and yes meglomaniac enough. some things I thought to tell you... (or anyone who had come over). I'm listening to OK Computer on random....
1) One of my secret dreams that I forget I have every time my mom's in town... is to get my base makeup done by a super custom blend, expensive but healthy Prescriptives tm makeup scientist. I have one "beauty flaw" that irritates me enough to use makeup - ok two- my lips aren't red enough and I have darkish circles under my eyes. I've always used me mum's prescriptives base and thought it was perfect, but now that I see my winter white skin, I think maybe I'm a bit bluer than my mother. Still yellow but more blue - approaching green?
2) BEAUTIFUL AMAZING DAYS are really great and amazing, but good god, I'm a girl who needs her winter every now and then. I'm so sick of feeling guilty for sitting inside that I have to listen to music outside if it's pretty. Now, I loves me a good walk with the headphones on a GORGEOUS DAY, but I also like such walks on cloudy gloomy days. It's just soooooo beautiful, and our technicolour green rye grass yard only emphascisez the crystal clear spring perfection that Wilmington has been infused with for weeks (interrupted by storms of night rain). Soooooo, what a horrible thing to gripe about. C'est moi!
3) I love the world and living. This jules asner interview with julia roberts that I just watched (maybe this shit is like coffee to me - this watching tv lives) was affirming. I didn't really like julia roberts that much recently - and I'm not ashamed to admit it might have something to do with the dark makeup around her eyes (Perhaps I was an english/nordic/irish/scotish/welsh woman who was killed by someone with dark makeup eyes...in former lives). Anyway, Julia is a champ. Her and rachel hunter make me think that enlightened people are enlightened people and that money sometimes is some peoples path to enlightenment - or lifelong journey towards such. Maybe all that naked obssession with yourself ambition that you have to remember having as a starlet - can indeed be overcome. So I'm saying that maybe celebrities aren't merely interesting as specimans that have lost thier souls. Maybe some of them still have souls and feel really guilty for the person theywere pre-money. Anyway, I'm so pleased to be right where I am today doing exactly what I'm doing right now (yes, even writing to you). And to be honest, I've never been brave enough to be doing such inside things on such a pretty day (but honestly it IS december 8th!) and I'm noticing that it's quite beautiful INSIDE when it's BEAUTIFUL outside (and no this is only accidental that it seems relateable to the celebrity thing)...
4) I love Radiohead
5) I love that astrology, enneagram, buddhism have all been tools to help me be ok with myself (and a little tarot and pot). It's totally wonderful to me. To me, even if this isn't what it's all about (what I have in my head), it's OK because it is fine for me to be doing what I'm doing right now.
6) I can't really think of anything else to say, so I suppose that was all, let me get up and walk ar....wait. I was going to tell you that (you know how I watched that great Rachel Hunter E! true story last week) about this dorky cameraman (one whose getting work when mark isn't but really is a bit of a deluded soulless-ish fellow) telling about what he'd been doing lately... and the guy had just gotten off some "awesome gig" blah blah blah and it turned out that he spent thanksgiving with rachel hunter IN rachel hunter's la house. He said her daughter was GORGEOUS in a bizarrely beautiful way. I just hope rachel realizes how perfect rod is for her and how that's ok. I hope she makes undoubtable to him how much she loves him....not necessarily that they get back to f-ing and living together.
7) I hope we all get it one day - together.
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