medium pimping: deekla's britney pants or do as I say
formerly
'le vie c'est tres droll'
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Last night I was on fire in dance class (think more video style than jazz hands). So much so that my teacher made me actually do part of the routine by myself - a first. Ever. Embarrassing as all hell, but look, I lived to tell about it, right?
But what really made last night into the pinnacle of my dancing carreer, was דיקלה (Deekla)'s britney spears pants. They are turquoise with a glam shot of Britney straight out of a mall photo session on one leg and Britney written in hebrew down the other leg. Needless to say, I (insert valentine's day cheesy heart here) those pants.
Deekla and I rode the F downtown together after class. She has to leave to go back to Isreal in 4 months and has promised to bequeath me the pants. A tiny exquisite Israeli Jew - yes tinier even than the Medium Pimp, she is part Turkish and part Yemenish. She is dark skinned with deepset eyes and a huge amount of dyed reddish blond brownish curly hair. She hauls around her bookbag everywhere that she uses to teach Hebrew to the little Heebs and the Bar/Bat mitzvah teens. This bookbag comes complete with the following harrowing tale.
She was standing on the platform of the F swinging it said bookbag around bored and waiting forever. It was the F train after all. So she swings once twice and loses grip of it on the third swing and sends it right onto the tracks. She thinks, well, "I've been doing push-up" and then HOPS DOWN ONTO THE TRACK TO PICK IT UP.
Now we are talking about a tiny woman, 5 foot nothing, hopping down onto a live track with an electrical current of 625 volts on the 3rd rail. With an F train lurking who knows where.
So Deekla picks up her bag and looks up to the platform. There's no way. The top lip is way over her head. She's not even thinking about which rail is live. She tries to scramble up and stumbles back down. Finally a woman comes over and says, "Do you need help?"
Well, she sure as hell did.
So that woman got her outta there in time for the F train to come right down the track. Deekla started to shake realizing the deep stupidity of what she had done. The ultimate irony: the lesson she had taught her kids that very day in school was to value your life at all costs.
Yeah right.
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