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	I was so angry last night.  After going to sleep at 7:45, I awoke at 2am and just seethed.  I thought how unfair it was that I care so much and express my caring and you would apparently have me do this on my own.
  How strange of me as I haven't heard from you in ages.
  I'll do it on my own, but I'm not happy about it.  I want to be ringed with caring allies who know how deeply frightened I am, but I suppose I have made my reality this.  I get told I'm strong a lot. "Oh you're so strong".
  Look, those fucking barking snarling dogs are just a recording that the doorbell makes.  I'm terrified and feel that I have messed up my life and have to rebuild all on my own. All this bullshit about writing on this column so that I will be known and loved.
  Pathetic.
  on that I leave you.
	
	
					
					
  
					
 
 
 
 
 
 
					
					 
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