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I'm sitting on the couch faded thanks to:
matt reedy - this guy who stops by and sees trek and i from time to time ... blah blah blah... was telling me a story about getting three tickets on the way over to the gallery.
I gasped. "WHAT!" probably tapping him whilst saying it with wide, astonished (but oh, genuine my loves...oh so genuine) beautiful eyes (earlier I had asked him if he could tell i'd been crying all night. he replied "no". I expressed sad relief. ((we talk of love most of all...)). Short story long..
it was really 3 violations on one ticket: seat belt, expired plates, and lack of insurance proof. He said the seatbelt one was unfair - but that he didn't push it because while he was looking for everything, he obviously opened the center glove box - and whiffed... reeking fumes of marijuana, and immediately rolls the windows up - blessing that the cop is doing shit on his ticket thing. He commented how relieved he was that it was on the pch and a breezy summer (hot! yay!) day...dropping notions of arguing the seat belt issue.
Matt: ... and I hardly ever smoke pot. this was some that a friend of mine happened to give me this morning. He's from england and he claims it so good. he claims 'mate, the american pot just doesn't do it for me.'
Kristen: [INTERJECTING SADLY AND WEARILY AND EAGERLY] Give it to me then. I love pot. god, I could use pot.
Matt: You want some, it's not much but you can have half?
Kristen: Are you sure? I could pay you.
Matt: Of course. of course. i want to give it to you.
kristen: i know. i have been downing clonipriam - i took TWO full pills last night and have had a headache for two days - a noise in my head that is like electrical brain tinnitus. thank you. thank you so much...
LATER WALKING BACK FROM CAR.
Kristen: jesus matt, you've still got the red stickers. we're all about green now baby.
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Fortune's Joke is a cute little nickname I've come up for myself as I'm about to go chainsmoke on the couch (after writing this natch).
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I've never wanted children. NEVER. I remember thinkin as a child of thirteeen and seeing what babysitting and responsibility and hell of having children did to my family and vowed 'never to have children. i will never have children because i HATE my MOTHER so much!!!' . I may have even screamed it... knowing my mother would hear it. who knows. i was sensitive but so passionate - like now.
now, i have confirmed my hypothesis that love relationships are like chemistry: two elements come together and form maybe an ionic, covalent, or that other bond... some produce another element from this fussure. some just bond.
I am telling you stories.
Now, I am evolved to a "maybe".
there. you've got me creeping fucking dna and hormones and peer pressure (and maybe maybe -0.3342 % chance - Love.)
Anyhoo, sitting on the couch earlier (getting stoned and smoking a fag on my lunchbreak from arbeit) I was touching and pinching my soft pot belly. other parts of my body lose blubber and become muscular. my ass is firm fat. my stomach is soft fat.
I have very wide hips. I do yoga. I eat very well (about to enjoy a cup of unadulterated "authentic" green tea). .. i have saggy full teats...
i'm mad as a hatter.
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