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sunshine jen: Sunshine Jen The Movie: A Ridley Scott Film
The movie will begin with some ominous Hans Zimmer music and the following words on the screen:
It was a time of economic turbulence, environmental catastrophe, terrorism, war, deep social divisions. It was Los Angeles in the new millennium.
Cut to: A close up of something in nature.
The primary tint of the film will be blue. Blue, blue, lots of blue. Forget the happy pink So Cal sunlight. It’s all bluuuuuue.
In fact, forget any scene of whimsy, lightness, or humor. Any attempt at such a scene will be bathed in golden light with lots of shadows.
The music changes to something more percussive. Energy builds in the film. Intensity builds. Why all this buildup? What’s coming next?
Battles.
Big battles. Sunshine Jen, played by Russell Crowe, will lead a ragtag team of bloggers into battle against a mega enemy. Since Sunshine Jen has no mega enemies, some will have to be invented. France seems to work.
Yep, Russell Crowe will play Sunshine Jen. Sure, Sunshine Jen is female, and Russell Crowe is not, but it’s okay, he’s an actor.
However, Sunshine Jen will not allow any actor to follow her around in order to get her physicality and voice. Don’t even attempt the voice, Russell. It’s New England meets Midwest with a little New York and a dusting of Los Angeles.
There will also be a bunch of old dudes who spend most of the movie saying wise things, and Sunshine Jen spends many scenes listening until she gets to call everyone to action with a big speech.
There will be dogs. Sunshine Jen likes dogs. The dogs will be smart border collie types able to respond to a raised eyebrow (yeah, they’re really smart).
There will be mud. Lots of mud. And blood. Really red blood (which stands out against all the blue).
There will be no sex scene, but there will be smooching shot from multiple camera angles.
Sunshine Jen the character doesn’t die in the end (phew!). In the last shot, she stands in the blue light. She is battered and bloody, but she’s got a look in her eye. It’s a determined look. It’s a really intense look. It’s all about the intensity.
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