 |
tim!: Sometimes Mankind, I am Loving You
2003
What's that? You'd like to have some chocolate syrup? Well, who wouldn't. I'll have mine in a tall glass. You're on the couch after the long hard workaday world has beaten you down and as if from out of nowhere at all, the image appears in your brain: chocolate syrup. You could just open a can and pour it down your throat, but that would be a hash uncouth. This is why you reached for that glass. The glass gives you class. Tough to get all that chocolate syrup out of the glass once it's in there. Sure. No cheating now, no going for the white milk and making brown milk. Make sure and get a glass the whole hand can fit into without breaking the glass or getting your hand stuck inside of the glass. So close yet so far. Couldn't hurt to be the type of guy who can fit this same hand into yours or your co-worker's mouths neither. Invite your friends over and put your hand in their mouth. Give them all the tequila they want. When you think they've had enough, think again. Now it's time for the barbiturates. Whew, that's a doozy. Wait 'til they're asleep and go try and find out what happened to that last bite of meatball. Mmmm. Electrolytic gag reflex suppression will do the trick. Now we're into the lower esophageal pathway, or Larimer's Bend. Careful not to push too hard or that "friend" might not be able to enjoy next week's discovery - my Dear, my Duodenum. Even though the patient is unconscious, their digestive tract is in full swing, working on the lima beans and fruit salad from dinner. Use the slimy lining of the espgs. as your guide. Just as with any power tool, let It do the work. Here is where you'll be grateful that I made you wear that latex gloveyglove. Not so much for keeping the stomach acid off that nice new manicure, but that chicken feels so much differently now than it did just two hours ago. Oooooooo. But wait there's more. Jerry, tell the nice man with the hand what he's won. Jerry whispers to me that you've won an addiction of biblical proportions. An addiction of the mind and of the soul.
Hope springs eternal young man. Hope springs eternal as we expect it to.
