When traveling abroad, to avoid kidnapping
or terrorist activity-don't wear khaki pants.
Do not urinate on yourself.
Do not urinate on other people's property.
After using a strange toilet I stood
for hours with the ass of my khakis soaked.
Technically, I wasn't wearing my pants
when I urinated on them.
Several versions of the same outfit.
One form. Do not urinate on other people.
Buying tennis shoes not for tennis,
I buy Converse if I want Puma.
My last Nikes were when I wanted Converse.
The Big&Tall Store's marketing people harassed
me for years-and should be commended-
I charged one lousy giant pair of clown pants.
Shoes are no good anymore.
The poor heart isn't in the making.
I shuffle three miles a day at least.
Under my clothes I'm naked as birth,
except now I've unwanted hair and am
not often covered in blood and mucous.
Like most people, wearing boots I'm taller.