Film and Television Rights: Unsolicited Parenting Advice (for Dorf and 3-Pak)

1. Ignore older people, as they've forgotten everything. Seriously, just smile and thank them and pat them on the arm until they stop talking. Cause they're just making stuff up. It's not their fault, just part of nature's plan that we forget certain things, or we'd never do them again.

2. Hydrate. This really is the only advice I give to prospective fathers. Your job mainly is to bring your wife water. May not sound like much, but it's why men are the larger of the sexes, have stronger upper bodies and are meaner, because in caveman-times you generally had to be capable of killing anything blocking you from the watering hole if your cave wife was feeding your cave baby and desperately parched. So think of that when you're in your underwear standing in the doorway of your darkened bedroom at three in the morning holding a glass of water like an idiot and your wife and baby already fell back asleep.

3. This was the only advice I was given by my great friend Harrison. He said, "Don't be afraid, you won't break the baby." So far, he's been right!

Congratulations Collin and Erik!

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