2001:December:20
2001
Obviously I don't feel the same way today - right now as they say - that I did yesterday. Right now, I'm sitting in my house alone (husband working nights) listening to the tori amos album that I made for Karen. It was messing up on my headphones, but is doing fine on the big cd changer. who knows?
I'm not really writing you because I'm bored nor do I have much to say (beyond everything eh?). So we'll see what I come up with...
I'm in love with my town. Today, mark and I said "f -it". Even though we're poor as the Nixons we went to Nikki's for an out to eat meal. It was so nice not having work for days and days or school.... I'm already in the zone. The meal was perfect. It was such a festive atmosphere - funny people from my past were there, and it turns out that nikki is going out of town for the holidays starting tomorrow, so today was the last day. The day was windy and clear and the river looked like an ocean it was so choppy. We went and visited our friend steve after that and got firmed up in our sympatico. Lovely.
Pot. So today marks the week anniversary of me not "holding" any amount of wacky weed. I did partake last night (It was the big Lord of the Rings festival), and learned a great deal. Pot is like my meditation. It is my crutch. I can be much more the person I like being when I'm on the pot, BUT I also think -as with any crutch- it's always useful to test and see if the leg's healed. (It isn't).
Family. They are in my life for a reason, so we'll see.
Friends. I wish I weren't so shy (AKA, I wish I didn't have to have a beer or two to muster the courage to call friends), but hopefully, I'll be more and more brave as my life goes on. I really think the world would be utterly bleak without the connections and lessons that the people that fate put in your life weren't around.
Money. Pot teaches me that money is not important.
Love. My husband and I are life partners. We are absolutely correct for each other. Together, we are stronger and more amazing than we could even pretend to be apart (at least for me). I am coming to realize that we may never fulfill every need for each other. There will always be room for other people. For instance, I NEED (for now-who knows about later) to have people that I can get f-ed up with and talk about themes and meanings and people and life. Mark desperately needs someone to be a geek and a goofball with and tech-y. I have a small "wow" factor by cameras, and scenes from movies, or technology; but, if mark were not in my life, I wouldn't even give it lip service. He needs someone to just be comfortably geeky with. Of course, we could easily survive without such things, but why? And I think the fact that we're different doth not break us but makes us stronger.
Everything. Rocks.
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