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Art Colony: socks (of the pharaohs)
Thursday, December 2, 2004
› by victoria
As an apartment-dwelling household consisting of 2 people, we are entirely out of clean socks. That is why I am wearing green tights with a skirt and boots to school today. But I digress: the topic is socks. And what socks they are! To start at the beginning:
Yesterday my boyfriend and I were looking for his lucky grey sweater. He loves that sweater. It's basically his only favorite sweater, so he needed to find it. As we were churning the place upside-down looking for his grey sweater, I found this weird wicker-basket thing that had a bunch of sweaters on top. (He had thrown a bunch of stuff in the wicker-basket-thing when he/us were moving, a few months back, and we hadn't touched it since). Assuming that there would be layer upon layer of sweater piled in the basket, I went through the various layers. However, when I reached the bottom, I didn't find sweaters: I found socks. A great big pile of them. But these weren't normal socks, these were disturbing atrocities masquerading as socks. I found myself saying things like
"What did you DO in these socks?! Walk in a swamp?!"
He responded by tossing them into a big pile on the hardwood floor where they remain, even until this very morning.
On the socks themselves: it's not even like they smell bad, they just look like the socks of the ancient Pharaohs, coated with red dirt and dust from pyramid-building and then passed down from generation to generation without the benefit of Tide. These socks are just so hideous that we're considering selling them on Ebay as "the ideal gift--for your worst enemy! Or use them as the worst party favors of all time?"
What should we do with the socks? All suggestions welcome.
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