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I've had a terrible time at work lately and it's making me have bad dreams which I remember later. I've thought about their content and meaning, and gotten a clear indication that work is stressing me to the max.
In real life, my boss is psycho. He whips out daily examples of sexism, chauvinism, egotism, one-upmanship, and control freakishness to prove this; plus, he uses harsh write-ups, called "disciplinary actions," for one-time minor infractions instead of reserving this tool for people really doing something wrong. He justifies overdoing it by stating, "I want everyone to know I am serious." He follows us around and makes sarcastic remarks. He doesn't talk to the technicians unless he wants to point out an error or oversight. Because he was staring at me the other day, willing me to screw up so he could pounce, I dropped a bottle of Propofol (expensive) and he jeered, "Lucky we have carpet since that is glass," and pointedly looked me up and down as I bent over to get it.
However, if you are a young female with marked brain cell deficiency and show belly and cleavage both, you get what you want. If you are male, it doesn't matter if you are stupid, smart, indifferent, brilliant, or schizophrenic, you get what you want. That said, here are the dreams:
Dream One: The pharmacy counter person is on lunch and when the bell rings, I am the only one to answer it. Karl from maintenance is standing there and says, "I came to get one of the mini Canadian TVs." "Huh?" I kinda laugh..."this is a pharmacy, we do drugs, not TVs." "Nope," he says, "you guys have a $33 special on mini Canadian TVs and I want one before you are out." Well, it's good I'm a suspicious person lately, because I know to ask someone else "What's up with TVs today?" Turns out, that we DO have them! They are in little square green, black and white boxes and they are mixed in with the shelf of birth control packets. Karl gets his TV.
Interpretation: Every day I go into work, something has changed and I haven't been advised of the pertinent information. Virtually, I frequently look stupid/uninformed/inefficient to other departments and employees because I am caught off guard.
Dream Two: I am again called to the pharmacy counter and there is a nurse from OR that I know pretty well picking up a prescription. We start chatting about marathons--I abhor running--and after a couple minutes, a CNA gets in line behind her. The CNA is the type of person who gets ignored because she doesn't stick up for herself, but I don't treat people like that and I want her to have her turn. I look at her to let her know I see her there, but Susan the nurse keeps yakking and yakking. When I manage to interrupt, it's too late. The CNA has stepped as far across the hall from the pharmacy window as she can get and is snapping pictures of us--flash flashing, different angles, the whole deal! Then she calmly walks off and I know I'm gonna get in big trouble and there are pictures to prove it.
Interpretation: My boss is constantly watching me and I feel persecuted by him over very minor incidents. He is condescending and patronizing...and he has stirred up everyone on staff so that people are tattling on each other in an effort to distract him off of themselves--and he rewards the tattlers for their efforts. I'm paranoid. And I have good reason to be.
Dream Three: Next, I dream that I see my 63-year-old estranged and extremely crusty father, whom I haven't seen in two years. We are riding in his truck and he looks young and happy. I'm compelled to ask "What's up?" He grins, and gushes, "I'm getting married! I know that's hard to believe but it's just one of those things that happens." I'm stunned--he hates women. Of course, she's very young and he's overcome with lust. Immediately, I think of his estate and what will happen when he dies. I am the executor of his will, against my will, and the thought of my dad having a wife to complicate all that is supremely complicated about his estate immediately throws me into a state of dread. Of course, "this is the end of my inheritance, which was to make up for all I have suffered at the hands of an indifferent father" and further, "I'm going to have a fulltime job on my hands clearing up all of his stuff just so a bimbo can cash in."
Interpretation: I have a sense of impending doom and helplessness, and--I feel used.
Dream Four: This one is my favorite. I am again in the front of the pharmacy (I hate being pulled up there) and this time I am at the cash register and I look down at myself as I am ringing up a sale. With a feeling of doom, I see that I am wearing a neon green t-shirt, black jeans, and extremely bright pink boots. The boots are rubber, rise knee-high over my jeans (!) and they appear to be a fake alligator texture in what can only be called a fearless fuschia tone. I'm dumbstruck and can't believe I'm dressed like this at work--people are going to SEE ME and JUDGE ME.
Interpretation: I'm scared to death of doing the wrong thing by accident. In this dream I am violating at least two dress code rules and furthermore, I haven't worn pants to work in nearly 10 years, never mind that I'd never in this lifetime wear any kind of boots of any description or color or material over pants.
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and check out my dream life. Maybe my next dream will be about suddenly quitting my job and telling my boss to shove it. The schedule finally came out today and starting next Thursday, I am scheduled to work eight days out of a nine day stretch. I'm seriously worried. That is way too many hours jumped together. I'm bound to fail somehow and incur the wrath of the boss. The more he makes up weird and impossible rules, the more we make mistakes. It's inevitable that I will get tired and mess up something, innocuous as it might be.
Meanwhile, all that contact with him is going to kill my joy over this winter's break from school. I decided not to attend winter term because of financial struggles ensuing after a cut in work hours, and I compensated by focusing on how many fun things I could do during five free weeks. My plans are in serious danger and probably ruined, because how I can do anything with a schedule like this but work and sleep? And have more bad dreams?
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