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And Happy longest night of the year. Happy Solstice. I'm not very happy and a bit shitted that the glorious magic of Christmas hasn't infiltrated my soul. Alas, my cast iron pan lays on the fritz with crusty shit all over the bottom. I've used the pan for fifteen years. Things like this. My lungs still hurt from the smoke it emitted while I was trying to cook the failed fried okra I meant to bring to my brother's. Booze will now be my gift. I'm someone that went from an arrogant smug to a scaredy cat.
In fact, that's what I'm going to try and do right now - go seem some cats and see if I have the cajones to imagine adopting another one. It scares me as I don't want to ever think of it as a burden, and I've never before thought of adopting as a single mom - yet fuck am I desperate for anything to cheer me out of my gloom. "Save me kitten", and I recognize that I've not the best track record. but you see all the other losers and think "well, the cat would be in a cage or euthanized. am I better than that?"
I wonder again what life is an why we're all here.
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