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just watched an MGMT video - kids - taken when they were a college band, and it floored me
of course.
I too had been a vampire and dessert with all of the lads I encountered that had feelings and could talk. I loved boys who could feel.
"there will be no meat to dry."
I've written about it before, but I always come back to my first love - Wilmington. I can't believe those struggling days are so golden now, and I wish I had a catalog memory to convey them. I could only write a book as a groupie wannabe.
She was waiting for him.
His poetry had been the best, and his sense of
fuck it
by putting on that astronaut suit every time.
her favorite lyric of his was "... and you are you are the greatest show on earth".
She lived at orange/princess something and 3rd. She walked by that building during her birthday and it haunts her - especially the window she was always jumping out of in her head.
The only problem was the guy that she afterwards looked at the wafting curtains and thought she was trapped in a bad sad short story was there pleading. It was a quite rare occurrence in her disheveled existence.She was embarrassed, but trapped. The astronaut was a hard one to catch, and she knew he wouldn't be trying again. She loved his promise. Oh there were many problems and most about all of them were trapped in her head.
I love the girl in the dress with a 40 dancing to the song in the video.
I was a huge drinker. people made me scared because obviously I don't love myself so it's really hard when you're sensitive and imaginative to psych yourself into a doom loop.
psyche yourself out
she really loved James and his brother too. that was a trip to watch. I of course love his lyric "... that's my excuse excuse me".
I wonder when I gave up on chuck and Steven's band, but I did love their Christmas album - there was one song - I think it was Steve's? and I loved that I inspired one "get your own friends why don't you..." when I had stolen his bestie.
I guess I was recalling that although I'm a past worshipper, it's definitely not just mark that's in the rosy circle.
I sucked blood from others, and their social circle became my family. chuck was first then was mark. It was delicious and seemed so efficient to me. I never anticipate an ending. With Andy, I'm trying to get over the butt hurt and let go of the shit. to turn a phrase.
I was reading earlier about the reflections of the whores of Davos and came across a whole agency named after the greek word for high class mistress class - heteare or some such spelling. I can't be bothered to look it up. What do you think this is the entire net?
the snow is practically gone, but it did its magic. through it all
the only think I can tell myself is that I'm glad still that I don't live in California. and no regrets on the therapy path and Andrew closing. completing. it's weird to even think of California. it all feels like exile. Even the Andrew years were dumb and numb. and of course I have thousands of regrets - mostly money decisions the outcome exists.
yet the Davos and interesting men and all - I even though to myself "oh, I could have been a great Davos '
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