Jack Paar vs. the US Navy

Jack Paar served in the Navy as the emcee
for the USO. The show had all the stops:
jugglers, dancers, pin-up model/singers,

comedienne/singers, ventriloquism,
and when allowed-animal acts. The show
must go on WHEN the Admiral arrives.

The troops wait. Seabees on respite from digging
and hauling, loading, unloading, firing
their weapons at enemies, etc.,

were not angry, but impatient. Some sailors
must meet their transport and miss the show. Jack
Paar was not angry, but contemptuous.

On stage to placate the throng he joked
about the Admiral's tardiness. (Tardiness
is a funny word.) There are vital matters

of strategy to discuss, at least that's
what he tells his wife, said Jack Paar. We are
in service to the Admiral instead

of the country Jack thought. The Admiral
is screwing us sideways. This is not a
democracy this is the Navy, he said.

Coinkydinkally, the Admiral
was shtupping his secretary, various prostitutes
and a subordinate's wife. Jack Paar made a few

more jokes at the Admiral's expense
to the tired mass after the Brass
arrived. The show over, the Admiral

had Jack Paar put in irons for much longer
than the show's duration, including preparation
and the hours spent waiting on Admiral

to finish his concerns. Jack never had
the opportunity to speak to the Admiral.
The leader did not beat or dress down

Jack Paar in the back of a Jeep. He
only muttered the directive for Parr
arrested with prejudice, then forgot

it. Another ordered the unshackling,
one of the Admiral's secretaries
possibly. However, Jack never discussed

the matter in public because of an arrangement
he and the US Navy arrived upon.

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