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›comments[5] ›all comments ›post #318 ›bio: katie ›bio: victoria ›perma-link ›1/23/2006 ›18:39 ›archives ›first post ›that week |
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Art Colony: Sleepaway camp: the (un-cut spoiler) review Monday, January 23, 2006 › by victoria  Reading into Chapters 3 & 4 of Romans, I'm finding myself overwhelmed with all this "Circumsized vs. Uncircumcized" talk. Hence the pun-tacular title. Today started off in a truly fun way, and has been winding itself back down slowly towards a state of inertia. I almost fell asleep in my marketing class (*no fault of the prof, though; i was tired). I shouldn't have stayed up so late enjoying bad movies such as Sleepaway Camp. I don't want to spoil the ending...oh no wait, yes I do. It was hilarious. A movie for the whole family! Okay here's the review: So we start out with a "Heather Has 2 Daddies"-type-Dad, sitting on a boat with his 2 young children (a boy and a girl). They're enjoying looking at the lake scenery, etc. BUT there are these idiot teens driving a speedboat, and the guy lets the total girl drive the boat...which means that she crashes into the father! and the young children! As the waterskier screams, and another man looks on in slo-mo shock at the tragedy... we cut to "8 Years Later," the colonial house where the sole survivor of the boating accident (the daughter, Angela) and her cousin Ricky are being sent off to Summer Camp by Ricky's insane mother/Angela's aunt, who looks and acts like a reject from auditions to play the Master of Ceremonies in Cabaret. "Oh, you children have a wonderful time...it SIMPLY WOULD NOT DO if you didn't have a wonderful time!" she gushes creepily. Then the kids arrive at Camp Arawak, which is a pretty wretched camp. Apparently Camp Arawak either doesn't do background checks on its employees or it makes a policy of employing those with questionable backgrounds, as within 5 minutes of Angela and Ricky's arrival at camp, Angela is being targeted by the pedophile who works in the camp kitchen. Luckily Ricky shows up and scares him off, but the mental harm has been done. Angela isn't exactly loquacious (due to her trauma from the boat crash, I guess) and as horrible experience piles on top of other horrible camp experiences, she refuses to talk at all. Angela's forced to room with the popular girls, including Judy (who's the only girl at camp with big breasts, plus a total bitch) and this psychopathically mean counselor, Meg. Ricky has a nice buddy whose name is Kevin (I really have no idea what his name is, Kevin sounds about right) and his cabin mates include this *totally fabulous* gay guy named Chico. Chico's outfits have to be seen to be believed--they look just like the cheerleader costumes in that Adam Sandler movie, The Longest Yard. Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, the creepy pedophile guy. Well, later on he's in the kitchen by himself heating up a gigantic pot of hot water to boil corn, but in order to reach something he stands on a stool over the pot, teetering precariously. Then a mysterious killer enters the room and pushes pedophile-man into the hot water, burning him horribly. Cut to the police and medics taking away the guy, covered with bandages on a stretcher and screaming: the camp manager, Marty, insists it was a "tragic" accident and basically pays off the rest of the kitchen staff not to talk. In the meantime, Angela is more and more tormented every day because she doesn't take part in activities like tennis, swimming, or running around in outrageously skimpy 80's clothes. Her cousin Ricky tries to protect her, but at one point she's attacked by some of the "Jocks". Later, the leader of the jocks turns up...dead. I bet you can see where this is going... {random interlude: some of the characters in this movie NEED TO BE SEEN--one of the most outrageous is the muscly, relatively sane camp counselor! his outfits are short-short-short! like a real man's! We'll call him Marco to make reference easier} anyhow-- More and more people are dying in mysterious ways...drowned in their canoes while trying to get a piece of ass...stabbed in the showers before their rendezvous with the creepy camp manager, Marty (eew!)...stabbed in their beds after trying to make out...drowned in the lake...killed while trying to sleep in sleeping bags... And through it all, Angela is silent. The only one who can get her to relate to him is Kenny, who becomes her quasi-boyfriend. However, Angela won't let Kenny touch her or even kiss her: when he tries, she freaks out (much the same way that she freaks out whenever people get her near water or make her take a shower with other girls). (*we get a teensy bit of insight into this due to a flashback where Angela and her brother are watching 2 men in a bed pat each other on the arm--it's her father! and the other guy who was watching on the shore during the boating accident! Hmm.) When Angela finally agrees at the end--in the middle of this random killing spree--to meet Kenny down by the lake, you think that she's finally going to make out with Kenny. The heavily-muscled Marco and nice counselor Sharon run down to the lake after seeing all the other grisly deaths, looking for the unnacounted-for Kenny and Angela. And they see Angela and Kenny--his head nestled in her lap--both nude, seated on the beach. As they approach, we get to see flashbacks... Creepy Cabaret-aunt is telling Angela that she always wanted a girl in the family...a boy would not do... And then it cuts to Angela standing up, facing the 2 counselors, screaming and holding Kenny's severed head! And because "Angela" is nude, we can see his/her penis. Cut to more screaming. Then the end. **What a great shocker ending--it totally got me--I knew "Angela" was the killer, but the whole gender-twist thing was very risque for the time it was made (1983). |
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