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"when I sat down on the bed next to you, you started to cry..."
this song is such a banger as we've all been there and the poet just nails it.
"isn't it sad, I'm amused."
I love it so much when a song kicks in, and I feel less alone.
My mom made me join a virtual connection site, and long story short, I'm newly reacquainting with Spotify... ah the mourning of all you dead playlists and iPods...
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she sits breaking her heart
"have we lost our minds..."
she was so happy the cats were out of the house.
"you me - we used to be on fire..."
She had taken a break from the pull of tending a new seed sprouting surprisingly in the metaphorical garden. what a world. she had already ridden the new madness of possibility and waves of hope. Now she was in the dejected "this won't work but I guess it will be something to try" stage.
She cried because although she was awesome.
she was mad.
like the old use of it.
she would think of the scenarios in her head endlessly until she also tried to find some way for it to work.
"hi, I like you, and I know from past experience that I'm entrancing you. This will come at a high cost because I'm working on healing an old wound and have inherited a disease from my dad. Do you like Carrie Fisher? I'm fucking crazy so although this was fun to flirt, don't let the door hit you on the behind as they say... but that sounds way rude - what I really mean is that I'm hardening myself because I know what's going to happen. anyone who I love, I will eventually turn on in times of stress and every ten years or so I seem to break apart."
she finally ate yesterday.
she had panicked after the sloth decadent months of December and January.
But more importantly, her. When seeing her life potentially reflected in someone else's eyes - it's a something. Maybe the most she could possibly bring was that she might be an interesting conversation partner.- and liven up gatherings.
And of course easy come. easy go. It's just something to distract her from thinking about the abyss and the pull. It's
(DANCE BREAK*) "Catwoman" by the wedding present
oh and happy valentines day.
you know I love you allways.
*that client I had at the end - the really young one who was exploring her sexuality and talking about overcoming her social anxiety to go clubbing with her cousins that she had so admired seeing and now she could finally join them. and if I gave her one thing as a pretend therapist I hope I gave her this:
"so, you did it - how was it for you?"
"well, it was kind of hard. I didn't know any of the music and couldn't get into any of the songs."
"well that's the very most important part - the right songs."
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