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As is my habit of late, I awoke at about 4:40-ish unable to sleep for about an hour. I figured I would get a good view of dawn - which I rarely see. I flitted in and out of sleep I suppose, but I - for the first time in my life - had a brief image of the green man. He was astride his horse looking at me/in my direction. The antlers were on his head. It was all black and grey and green and veins of red. It was pre-dawn.
I knew fear of god for the first time in a while. Thank you.
Anyway, this is going to be about mark. He laments that I never write about him.
one. mark was born on july 15, 1967 in denver, colorado.
two. I had a 'shining' experience about mark. I saw him at general longstreets in wilmington, and thought that this would be my new man.
It was very ... confusing to be told by jungle and rich that he was married. They suggested several swains to replace him, but I felt that mark was it. Later he got a divorce from chris, and bob's your uncle.
three. I loved mark and his click because they were low drama. They also smoked pot and shot beebee guns. This was quite novel to me.
Quite attractive.
four. Mark is a craftsman. He is a technician. I totally dig this.
five. I have stifled his creativity with my blatant need of monetary cushions.
six. I have been put in the mental ward of duplin general hosptial twice by mark. He sold both his super 8 (braun?) and super duper digital SLR to pay for my transgressions.
seven. He supports every thing I've ever said I've wanted (except for one). When I wanted to be a teacher and change the world... mark sold his favorite camera, his biggest livlihood potential - his $3,600 video camera... He has since gotten a fat new one.... I am encouraging toys at this point.
eight. Mark loves his cameras like some men love women, and I find this attractive.
nine. he really loves pads, marbles, and stripey.
ten. his mother is amazing. I adore her. She is funny and she and mark laugh like kids together.
eleven. In wilmington, I used to profess that I loved mark because if I pissed in the middle of the room and spouted in tongues he would love me. In fact, when I was put in the hospital the second time - the impetus for this (brian) made him think something amazing and lovely.
He revealed to me on the awful night of seeing pivotal 'closer' that when he heard about my transgression from 'everybody', his thoughts were of relief. He was relieved that someone would finally make me happy and that I would be fulfilled.
twelve. Mark has had a best friend for 25 years. They share star wars together. Mark was a bit of a drummer (he still loves rhythm) and so was his buddy. Mark lived with this dude post-high school and it looks hilarious and fun from the fotos. EVERYONE loves mark. I often used to profess (and still would if there was a person left who hadn't heard me say it) that only a psycho killer wouldn't like mark.
thirteen. mark has healed me and made me the monster/saint i am today.
He always points out that it's all about me. He is the best teacher I have ever had. He is the only man I have ever married. He is the third man I have betrayed; however, my betrayal of him is the only one that landed me....
I love the dude.
"gloria" par you dos is on ipod. Honestly, I would only listen to the 'under a blood red sky' version.
This has tired me. It is 8:19 am in santa monica, ca. It is cloudy and black and white and fifty-ish.
I love you.
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