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Teen News: Tonight on 'Curb Your Enthusiam'
So last night the wife and I had our first night out since having el baby. The all-important and often excrutiating First Night With a Babysitter outing. We went to go see the musical Spamalot. I had gotten tickets as payment for some work I did for a guy with 'connections' in that biz. We had no idea what kind of seats we got until we arrived, and they were beauts! Row C, right in the middle! The thing is, Reba has been feeling a little sick lately, and she wanted to sit nearer to the aisle if at all possible, to allow for easy bathroom access should the need arise. So we asked the couple who were sitting at the aisle seats in our row. After a beat of discussion they said sure and we switched seats, and all was well.
The show itself was alot better than I expected. I was afraid it would just come across as 'scenes from Monty Python & the Holy Grail LIVE!' But there was enough new stuff in there to make it worthwhile and enjoyable. The vibe of the crowd and the undeniable fun of the material also helped quite a bit.
So, the show is getting near the end, and we're at the bit after the killer rabbit (Kair Bannog for you enthusiasts). In the film they come across an inscription on a cave wall and try to decipher it. In the play this moment involves a large rock with an inscription on it. The inscription appears to read "CIOI". They bicker and discuss what it might mean. Eventually they realize it might be partially numerals, "C101". I then realize this is Reba's seat number, Row C, seat 101. Then the cast makes the same 'realization' and one of them (Patsy, Arthur's loyal assistant) comes down and addresses Reba in her seat. "Will you stand up, please?". Reba does, as the guy reaches underneath and pulls the grail out from underneath! At this moment I think about the fact we switched these seats with someone else. I look over at them in OUR original mid-row seats, and the woman is shouting at me, "Those are OUR seats!". To make things worse, Patsy now takes Reba up on stage! The cast congratulate her for helping them find the grail, ask her name, and then sing a big song of praise with HER NAME in it! Here's the entire frikkin' cast of Spamalot singing my wife's name at top volume! Again, I look over at the people who were SUPPOSED to be in our seats, and they seem livid. I do my best to convey that we had no idea while simultaneously trying to enjoy my wife's big moment on a Broadway stage.
Then...THEN...they get her to pose with them for a Polaroid of her with the cast! It's the ultimate pairing of "This couldn't get any better" and "This couldn't get any worse" at the same time! Speaking of which, they go on to give her an award for Best Peasant in New York City, along with the Polaroid. Reba does a great little curtsy as the crowd laughs and the show goes to a rollicking finish.
The cast takes it's bow, the audience starts to file out, and the time comes to face the poor couple whose glory we inadvertently took for our own. The coincidence of it all is SO damn particular that it's really hard to convince them we had no idea this was going to happen. The woman seems somewhat convinced, but her male companion is having none of it. "I don't know, I still don't believe you", he says at one point, followed later by, "You looked fine up there to me", a stab at Reba saying she wanted the seat because she felt sick, which WAS completely true. We also find out the couple was visiting from Ohio, AND it was his birthday, which certainly doesn't help. I think it was at this point that I suddenly felt like Larry David. In an attempt to prove that our motives were just, we offered them the award, which was basically a little 4-inch statuette of a foot, with a plaque that read "Best Peasant in New York City" or something to that effect. They reluctantly accepted. But we kept the Polaroid, dammit (blurry though it is)...
Eventually we just hit the point where you say, "screw it, nothing can be done about it now" and part ways.
Reba's little moment of fame continues on the subway ride home, as a fellow passenger in the same car comes up to her and says, "Hey, you were just in Spamelot tonight, weren't you? That looked like it musta been SO much fun up there...and I loved your little curtsy". We then tell her the story of how we displaced the proper seat occupants and she, too is amazed at the odds. Speaking of odds, later in our conversation with this woman on the train, I come to find out she was born in the same hospital as me...in Dayton Ohio! Kooky!
So that's it, the story of the first night we used a babysitter.
