 |
poop beetle: Wanted: the exploitable
7.2005
The issue of childcare has been hanging over my head for three years. In truth, longer than that, but for the purpose of this story, let's say the past three years since I left my husband and moved back to N.C. and enrolled in pre-requisite classes with an eye towards nursing school.
While I think the medical profession will love me and I will love it back just fine, one of the main reasons I chose it was because I hoped to make enough money hour per hour to pay for childcare and still have some left over to live.
I'm a person who cares about people, god-help me if I were thinking of doing this for the money or even job security. But I am also a people and so are my kids.
Totally off the subject (and if I've told this story before, I apologize- but it amuses me)- last year I was driving Awais to school and he asked me "mom, why do you want to be a nurse?"
And I said, "because I think I will like it and because I will make enough money for us to
Be comfortable and get to do some fun things".
"Money?" He asked me suspiciously.
"And because I think I will like it. I think I might be good at it." I answered.
"But not JUST for the money?" he asked again.
"Well, no- not JUST. . . why do you ask?" I responded.
"Good" he told me. Because he had heard on TV. that some people who are doctors and nurses are just doing it for the money and because of that people are getting hurt.
This was according to Fox news . . . the REAL Fox News, he told me. (I have no idea how he ended up watching Fox, I really do try to monitor his TV. habits)
"And some people DO get hurt" he repeated sternly.
I'll be working 12 hour nights with a vaguely worded promise to shift to days later on. Days would mean one child care person to watch both kids in the early mornings 6am to 7:30am. They would both go to school until 2:30pm and then they would need someone to watch them from . . . say 30 minutes for travel time by bus- 3:00pm to approximately 7:30pm (possibly 8:00-8:30pm while I'm getting up to speed on charting and time management).
This would be just three days a week, but kid number 2 is not good with transitions. Neither is really, but in different ways. One kid gets real day dreamy, letting all the fuss and tension roll over him, which you'd think would be fine, except sometimes when he's getting dressed he'll put his clothes on over his pajamas, he has on a few occasions forgotten to get off at his bus stop and way, way too often, forgets to look both ways before he crosses the street. Kid number two gets pissed and wildly, defiantly uncooperative.
In addition, summers and holidays would be a scrambling, freaky-ass free for all.
12 hour nights would work out perfect if, if, if- I can find myself a Mary Poppins who will work for minimum wage.
This sounds easy, right? Why work at McDonalds when you can come to my house, watch Nicholodean with my kids from 6pm to 9pm, during which time you throw a frozen pizza in the oven and serve and then get them to bed.
After this, you can do whatever you want- make long distance phone calls, IM your boyfriend, study for your marketing exam, a little light drinking? Oh, why not.
House work? Forget it. I do.
Arts and crafts? Helping kids with the homework? Hey, doing it the night before it was due worked for 1st grade, why not 2nd? We work better under pressure.
Be decent, be kind, don't snarl all the time (that's my job), don't think you can beat the devil out of them - you can't, believe me.
Except caring for children, especially not your own, is thankless, tedious, lonely work. At McDonalds you've got other adults to share your pain, plus the occasional free McMeal.
It sucks, but there's a sense of community to the suckiness, and that goes a long way.
I've called a number of referral services and apparently the going rate for a nanny is $10-$12 an hour.
I'm not excellent with math and I'm not sure what time the shift differential kicks in, but at the risk of providing too much information, this represents somewhere between 1/2- 2/3rds of my own hourly wage.
So, clearly I need someone who can't make a decent wage due to some kind of screwed up, unfortunate life circumstance.
Some possibilities:
Illiterate: (because of some undiagnosed learning disability, not really stupid- but so ashamed and frozen by her early experiences in public school, she's decided she'll never amount to anything).
Doesn't speak English: I'm not sure how this would work- but considering I hate being a boss anyway, perhaps I would be unable to communicate the fact she need not clean and so she'd clean up without me experiencing the guilt/shame of asking her to? Plus, my kids would get early foreign language lessons! How cool!
Illegal Alien (see above)
Doesn't drive: I have no problem picking up the nanny. This way, I could by-pass the anxiety of waiting at home; wondering whether or not she would show up. Plus! I'd see the sad-ass trailer she lives in and then feel less embarrassed/defensive about my own living conditions.
Single mother on welfare: I would pay her under the table so she wouldn't lose her benefits (it's not like I can pay her a living wage, but any additional income creates a big ole nasty shit fit with the dept. of social service) and she could bring her kid. Or kids. Hopefully everyone would get along. I was thinking a baby would be best. I've got a crib and baby in the crib would be safer. I could paint my bedroom some pretty pastel color; hang a mobile that played "bram's lullaby". My kids would learn some nurturing skills. And her coming to my home would be ideal as she would be less likely to be reported by the bitter snoops at the government housing project.
A martyr: This would be someone who would be so overwhelmed by all the people who need her (sick mother, disabled husband, disabled ex-husband, plus the disabled/sick home health care elder folks she's been caring for 20 years, not to mention the wheel-chair bound, temporary foster kids who've lived with her for a decade, - not to mention the local McDonalds/Dollar Store that would close if she didn't show up) - someone so overwhelmed and yet thrillingly alive, with intense, inhuman responsibility- the kind that would make you think (as if you could really imagine her life) that she'd never find the time to watch your kids, let alone agree to do it for sub-livable wages.
She'd be good. This is someone who would spontaneously bleed at the thought of letting you down. This lady spends more on birthday and Christmas presents for you and your children then what you pay her in a month's time.
I don't have a lot of hope for attracting one of these. I've heard of them. I've even seen them. I know how it's done/ what goes into attracting this sort, but I honestly don't have the nerve.
I'm thinking the non-english speaking illegal alien who doesn't drive.
We'll see how it goes.
