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She always has a world map on the walls or as a shower curtain. one of the reasons she loves space is because it unifies the humans so much you see. She had cried thrice in the last 36 hours. Who knew why. This one was a weirdo. She enjoyed feeling things better than being numb and then when feeling things wanted desperately to go back to being numb. The thing sometimes she wondered about in regards to her enjoyment of friends and marijuana is that it allowed her to do that thing she like the most - stop thinking about herself and just be.
The birds sang up a storm, so she used it as an excuse to not put any music on. She hadn't played any since the joy left her at being dumped by the guy that kept telling her how tall and great he was. She currently was in the process of un-smarting her ego from the rejection by the male she had used to mitigate the enthusiasms of tall guy - she got dumped by the safety back-up in other words. At the numb store she got called ma'am so much she felt like being one of those haggard cliches "don't call me ma'am honey, it reminds me that I'm old and a fucking loser failure who can't even keep the facade glamoured." On the way back to base, a purple cybertruck pulled up beside her. She had to laugh. she laughed.
The world felt like a fucking asshole dickhead.
Those cute slogans of "pop the patriarchy" or "fuck the patriarchy" seemed as cute as the protests that were no longer allowed. Life had become the beginnings of a totalitarian pharaoh land. She just texted some player in order to distract herself from what... the despair - the dread - the fear - the always re-appearing chip in her right front tooth (which others would call her left front).
currently, there was a male deer who she had thought was a female trapped in the brush of her backyard. And of course she must always say, it wasn't "her" backyard. She was a charity case running on fumes. There they were last night - the neighbor's orange boy cat and more recently the calico sharing her bed. It was a crashing sound that was unmistakably not normal. It sounded like the killer almost. She was so tired it took her a minute to make her way to the window to see it was a deer. She saw its white tail up and gorgeous. She learned later that that meant they were really scared. She wasn't sure where it went, but she hoped it would be ok. she was remembering when it became hard for Edith to jump and she had to pick her up. at the time, she thought it was just a cat quirk. Later, she realized it was cancer. She was Edith's entire world. maybe everyone could be at peace now. She would be so much wiser now and feels so dumb for not seeing things more clearly.
The deer had settled under the bathroom window and she thought she saw a cut on its head, but it was the beginnings of his antlers. Later she learned that the mother kicks her 1- year old - especially boy - out of the nest around this time - so the poor thing had felt a lot of hostility and was going to try and find his new territory.
She wept because she was a human and knew... how fucked this buck was.
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