|
two months ago, he was laying beside me for the last time.
that sentence sucked to write.
this feeling sucks to feel.
he just wasn't that into me.
the ole cliche
It reverberates in my head like a piece that doesn't fit.
but
but
but
he ....
and no matter what I throw at it,
he didn't want to be with me.
He was glad to let me go.
it was a relief to him.
that doesn't mean that I'm a pariah and
hop back in that cave and seal it up
that crypt.
but it sure fucks with my image of myself
it sure makes me feel rejected.
but that's life eh.
rejection every day.
I'll get over it one day.
today, I'm not over it.
I want to shake him - tickle him
cajole him
seduce him
but fuck. I've got some cat hair to sweep up at the volunteer shelter
there's some grass to mow
and hanging out with my bro
I can't deny that I'm a weird
o
I wish I could love it
two birds flit around in my carport
they are always in pairs these birds
migrating I guess
sorry I lost you.
sorry you didn't want me.
sorry I couldn't be who you wanted.
and in the depth of my everything, I can't let you go.
I won't.
I'll keep you
all others seem doltish to me
but I'll smile
fake
until the next century when I find someone
to play ball with
again
|
