Teen News: UNUSED NEW YORK POST HEADLINES, part 1
LOOKS LIKE CHICKEN...
SMELLS LIKE CHICKEN...
...MUST BE CHICKEN!!!

TRICKY RICKY MARTIN'S LOVERCRAFT FIASCO

CORNISH HEN LATEST VICTIM IN TUESDAY SLAYFEST

"I ATE MY OWN VOMIT!"

THREE YEARS AFTER MEETING HILLARY...HE'S FILLETED BY VIKINGS!!!

MORON BONEHEAD DISAGREES WITH
SENTIMENT OF RECENT POST HEADLINE

"I HAD SEX WITH A GOAT
TO SAVE MY GRANDMOTHER"

IT'S OFFICIAL, FOLKS:
PROTOTYPE HOUSEHOLD ROBOT IS GAY!!!

RAT BASTARD DOESN'T FLY AMERICAN FLAG!!!

QUEENS RES WINS 3 MINUTE KILL SPREE

SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING POSSIBLY DETRIMENTAL ABOUT BRAVEST

(DAY 1)
LOUD BANG STUNS NEIGHBORHOOD

(DAY 2)
FEDS SAY BACKFIRING CAR NOT TERRORIST-RELATED

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